The Offspring Undertaking
by urban countrygirl
Summary: The unexpected insight into another man's life makes Sheldon realize that he wants to have kids. It's the beginning of a long and adventurous journey called "being parents". Connected to "The Otherness Discovery"
1. Chapter 1

**I think, a big part of the fandom is waiting for it and due to the many, many hints we already got throughout all the seasons, I think it's likely that it will happen: the Shamy having kids.**

 **I've had this multichapter-story in my mind for a while now and I finally wanna give it a try. It will be more like a drama, but I know I won't be able to do without jokes. In every story that I write, somehow the funny moments slip in on their own, I can't help it :-D. So, probably tragicomedy would be the right category for this.**

 **For this story, I will also assume that Sheldon has been diagnosed as an Asperger's autist. Therefore, it will have a loose connection to my story "The Otherness Discovery".**

It all started with a call from Amy's father, telling her that her great cousin Robert had died in the age of 76. After his wife had passed away some years ago, he had been living alone in their little house in the country near Los Angeles. They had never had any children, so Amy's father and two of his cousins had been the only people who ever had been looking after him from time to time.

Amy wasn't mourning that much, to be honest. She hadn't known this great cousin very well and only had met him once at some family party in her childhood, when some great aunt or uncle she even knew less, turned 80. But she knew that her Dad always had had a special place in his heart for that man (although he had never told him that so clearly) and therefore she wanted to help him get through his grief and assist him with all the paperwork and other jobs that had to be done. Especially with cleaning out the house she had never been at and preparing it for sale.

Sheldon didn't want to come with her at first, but Amy could persuade him into doing so by telling him that her Dad considered him family and that in moments like this, the family is expected to help. Furthermore, this great cousin possibly could have had some precious piece of old furniture or artwork they could sell on eBay and that Sheldon was the only person who was able to recognize hidden beauties that other people were even not looking at twice. Saying that, she put her arms around his body tightly and laid her head on his chest, thinking back of the day in the coffee shop many, many years ago, when Sheldon had secretly taken a second glance at her. At least Raj and Howard had told her so.

The property lay a bit isolated from the rest of the village. They stopped the car besides the road and exited. Long, dry blades of grass brushed against Amy's ankles and calves. The wind was rushing slightly through the bushes nearby, somewhere in the distance they could hear the sound of a tractor.

"I have to warn you," Amy's father said. "The property is rather dilapidated. I suggest we concentrate on the living room and go through his papers, first. The we can have a look at his other belongings. You both have your rubber gloves and the Purell, right?"

Amy and Sheldon both nodded. Then they took each other's hands and entered the garden. Or, what could have been a garden long time ago.

The paved path that was leading to the house was overgrown with weeds, tiny trees were sprouting in the fugues. From an old tree next to them (obviously the parent of all that sprouts) a big, dead branch was hanging down. Probably it once had been broken by a heavy storm some years ago and never been removed. Overall, on the dry, long grass, heaps of compost or old, broken furniture could be spotted.

They arrived at the house. Next to the door, that had a long crack in its glass pane, was a pile of broken electronic equipment and other trash. An old-fashioned TV stood next to a tatty fridge, on top of it some old paint buckets, stacked into each other. Clearly they had been used for a lot of different things over the last years, once the paint had been consumed. There was a rusty bicycle which was almost completely covered by a creeper, a broom and a spade standing next to it. Some more paint buckets full of indefinable trash… And between all this a huge bush of red roses and some yellow and orange flowers, that tried to reach for some light, being the last remaining witnesses of the beautiful flowerbed that once used to be at this place. "Marigolds," Amy's Dad (a retired botanist) remarked. "Somehow they are able to reproduce every year, even under the most adverse circumstances."

Sheldon already had enough. He had seen enough to know that this place would cause him a huge panic attack. And that probably they wouldn't find any treasure here that could bring them a pretty little money on eBay. But he had given Amy and her Dad his promise. He would help them.

They on unlocked the door, almost stumbled over the pile of advertising mail and newspapers that had been thrown through the mail slot recently, and then became aware of an awful smell. It emerged from a half empty bowl of dog's or cat's food (what was the difference, anyway?), but fortunately (at least for Sheldon) no animal could be seen around.

Walking across the sticky floor, they passed a table with a dirty coffee mug, an overflowing ashtray and an unfolded TV magazine. A dirty undershirt was lying over the back of a chair.

Then they entered the bedroom. The bed was made in a clumsy way, the flowered bed linen being greasy and creased. The ugly green teddy bear sitting on top, which was holding a heart with the labeling "I love you" in his hands, almost made Sheldon storm off the room. But it was Amy's father who finally made him lose his nerves:

"You know, Robert was a proud man who never wanted to ask for help, although he would have needed it desperately. Therefore, he had to give up on the garden a long time ago, but he always tried to keep this house as proper and clean as possible. Which was hard for him, because when his wife died, he even didn't know how to prepare a sandwich on his own." He looked at the bed with a sad smile. "He didn't manage to change the linens very often, but when he did, once or twice in a year, he always prepared a fresh pillow for his late wife, too."

Sheldon couldn't bear it anymore. He had to get out of here. Out of this place, that was not only highly unhygienic, but (and this was even worse) that was screaming from desperate loneliness in every corner so much, that even him, Sheldon Cooper, could recognize it.

Outside, in front of the house again, next to the old TV, he found a big chump of wood that Robert apparently had used for chopping firewood. There were notches on the top everywhere and a rusty ax stuck inside it. Sheldon needed a place to sit. He tucked at the ax. It wouldn't move. He tried harder. Still not moving. Hell, what would king Artus say to that? He used all his power and finally he could get the ax out of the wood. Breathing heavily, Sheldon sat down on the chump, put his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. He didn't even think of disinfecting them first.

What a nightmare was this? Not only for himself, Amy and her Dad, who had to take care of this house now... How lonely and empty must the last years of his life have been for this great cousin Robert? He had never met him, but seeing his house where he had lived, Sheldon felt really sorry for this unknown person. Everything here was showing that there had been nothing and nobody in that man's live that made him really care for anything. Not for himself, his health, his personal hygiene or his garden or his house. Ok, for the house he had tried to care, but he had been failing tremendously. There just had been nothing worth living for him in the last years of his life. Only the cat. Or the dog. That still was absent. Maybe even that was just a phantom in the end. Although the bowl full of food would be very creepy then.

"Are you ok?" Suddenly there was Amy's voice, directly next to him. He looked up and shook his head. „Not really, no."

„What's up? Is it the dirt and the clutter that's bothering you?"

"It's only a part of my problem. But all this makes me so… sad… and sorry… I guess I just feel sympathetic for your great cousin Robert."

"My Dad and me feel it, too." She sat down on the broken TV. "And I am very happy that you're developing some sense of empathy for other people. Even such people you have never known. That gives me some hope. But I sense there's something more to it, isn't it?"

"Yeah, maybe." He was looking down on the floor again. In reach of his feet, there was a wormy, molding apple that must have fallen from one of the trees around them. He rolled it towards him with the tip of his shoe and started playing with it. It was disgusting, but it reminded him of the footbag he had possessed some years ago and when he played with it, he didn't have to answer immediately. At least he thought so.

"Sheldon, please tell me what's bothering you."

He breathed in and out deeply and closed his eyes for a moment. "I don't want to end like him, Amy. I don't want you to end like him."

"Why do you think we would end like him?"

"It's a possibility, isn't it? Maybe one day, you and I will buy a house similar to this one. Or maybe an apartment in the city, who knows if the internet speed in the country will be better in the future. We will live there together, enjoying our time with each other, when we're not at work, of course. Then there will come the day when we will retire. I probably will refuse to stop my work at university at first, but they will force me to leave. After a while, it will be ok for me. I still will have my hobbies like Star Wars and Star Trek and maybe I could even start doing space journeys. After all, it's the future, we're talking about. And of course, I will have you. Maybe there even still will be our friends around. But honestly, nobody can guarantee it. It's possible they decide to live somewhere else in the future. And then" he breathed in and out again deeply "then one day will be the day when you die and leave me alone. Or when I die and leave you alone. Unless we both die together, for example in a car accident. Or when a meteor hits our house." He looked at her again, tears were starting to brim in his eyes. "But it's more likely that one of us will be alone at the end of their life. And that frightens me a lot. Not because of the household. I know how to use a washing machine, even better than you do. But because even I can see that this house reflects the state of the soul of its owner. And I don't want my soul to look like that ever."

He put his arms around her waist and laid his head on her thighs. Amy caressed his head.

"I'm afraid of that stage of life, too. But hopefully, we will have a lot of years in advance to get prepared for it. And maybe, we also will have kids and grandchildren who will help us through it and who will give our life a new sense after we both have received our Nobel prize."

"But then we should start making some. The sooner, the better. Let's start now! It needs some time until they will be adult!"

Amy stopped moving her hand. "You want to have kids with me? Soon? Now?"

Sheldon sighed. "I'm not looking very forward to have a baby or a toddler in the house, to be honest. But since it's the only possibility of having a progeny, I think we'll have to soldier through it, don't we?"

Amy sighed, too. "I guess we should talk about it when we're at home, again. Now let's go and help my Dad."

 **I've read some very nice stories where Amy gets pregnant by mistake.**

 **And I have read some other very nice stories where Amy and Sheldon have the heartfelt wish to have a cute, little baby.**

 **Well, in this story they will mostly get pregnant because it's the only possibility to have adult offspring one day. And to prevent themselves of living the sad life of great cousin Robert. (Well, honestly I don't know how the life of an old, lonely man looks like exactly in California. But in Germany, it sadly very often looks like I have described it here.)**

 **This whole approach may sound a little "cold", but please remember that in this story Sheldon is an Asperger's autist who sometimes has a very different view of the world than the rest of us.**

 **So, I'm excited to hear your thoughts! :-)  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**What I forgot to mention in the first chapter: in this story Sheldon and Amy are already married. Because there's no way I see them planning to get pregnant out of wedlock. That would not only be absolutely against everything Sheldon's and Amy's families believe in, but also highly unpractical from a legal point of view.**

They had spent the rest of the day with sorting the papers (Amy's part), going through the rest of the house to see if there was something valuable or at least worth preserving (Sheldon's part, although he had tried several times to change his job with Amy) and collecting apples in the garden (Mr. Fowlers part, he just couldn't throw any food away, even when there were worms inside).

On their journey back home, the trunk of the car full of little green wormy apples (that still could be used for making apple puree) and an old butter tub that Sheldon had filled to the rim with seed of marigold (to him it seemed to be the most precious thing he could find in the house, after all, a tea made from this flower was supposed to be helpful with period cramps, and from that Amy used to suffer a lot), Sheldon, Amy and her Dad had grown rather silent. It was not only the physical exhaustion that was bothering them, but each of them also needed some time to process what they just had experienced.

Amy's Dad had learned that he apparently had meant the same to Robert what Robert had meant to him. At least if you could judge from all the postcards written by Mr. Fowler and other stuff he had kept neatly in a big cardboard box that they had found in his closet. They had considered each other best friends, but since they never had spoken about it, neither of them had known.

Amy was still trying to get used to the idea that Sheldon wanted to heave kids with her in the near future. Sure, from time to time they had talked about children, like it was the most natural thing in the world. Like when they planned to live on Mars and raise their kids as Martians. Or when Sheldon promised Raj to name all their kids after him, even the girls. Or when he tried to seduce her by dressing like some weird sort of Casanova and dancing the Flamenco.

Sheldon was thinking about how emotional he had gotten. Not only that he got touched by the life of an unknown person, he also had started to think about his own feelings concerning family, life, aging, dying. It was all quite overwhelming and frightening. There, feelings again. Oh my.

It wasn't until they had gone to bed, that Amy, lying there next to her husband in the darkness, feeling the warmth of his body and hearing his breathing, finally found the right intimate atmosphere she needed to address the elephant in the room, again.

"So, ehm, Sheldon?"

"Yeah?"

"Shall we talk about the children issue again?"

"Ok." She heard him shifting, turning around to face her, although they almost couldn't recognize anything in the darkness.

"Well, where shall I start?" Amy was rather insecure. „You know, what's bothering me the most is, that you seem to hate children. You even never wanted to touch Halley, for example. How… how shall that work?"

He sighed. „I don't know, Amy. Today I just realized that I don't want to die alone. And I also believe that there is some evolutionary drive to procreative. I think I would just regret it if I was old and never had passed on my genetic material to a new generation. Especially when you consider how superior the combination of our DNA could be. You remember the benign overlord we planned, right?" He smiled at her in the dark.

"But you don't still plan to get parents via in vitro fertilization and a surrogate, don't you?" Amy was a little shocked.

"No, no, don't worry. I would be willing to conceive the baby in the natural way." He stretched out his arm and caressed her shoulder slightly. "That shouldn't be the problem."

"But again, Sheldon, you don't like children at all."

"That's true. They are loud and dirty and dumb and they act so illogical and unpredictable. The smaller they are, the worse it is. When I see a baby, I'm completely at a loss, I don't know what to do. The idea of having to hold a baby in my arms is really frightening me."

"And still you wanna have a child?"

"Well, I was hoping that maybe the first years you could care for it and when it becomes older and is able to speak properly in whole sentences, then I could join in the education…"

"Don't be silly. You know, when we have a baby, you will have to care for it from the first day. And I honestly think you could do this. Everyone knows what to do with a baby, it's evolutionary. How else could mankind have survived until now? And for the same reason you probably would love your kid. It just happens. Even if you hate every child in the world, you will love your own one." Amy was not sure if she really believed what she was saying. But she wanted to believe it badly.

"I hope you're right… But what about you, do you really want kids?"

"Yes, in general I want them. And I know that I don't have that much time left. But I also know that, when we will have a child, I will have to stay at home for a while and that my career could maybe suffer from it. It doesn't necessarily have to, but it is possible. And that frightens me."

"Yeah, I guess you're in a very similar situation to Bernadette, then."

"Apart from that" Amy continued now, "I have to admit that I feel a sting of jealousy, when I see a mother with a baby. Some of them are really cute and sometimes I wish I just could take them out of their buggies and cuddle and kiss them unrestrained. But before you say anything, I know it's only the Kindchenschema* and that a little dog or cat or Hello Kitty figurine or Disney Princess or even a simple smiley (if the proportions are right) could cause the same reaction from me. But I can't help it. Sometimes I'm a slave to my biological urges."

"Yeah, like all women."

Amy gave him a little pinch at the shoulder. But he just grabbed her hand and held it to his chest.

"Sheldon, are you really ready for having a child with me? You know, a child binds us together for the rest of our lives. A marriage can be divorced. Theoretically, not that I want to, but it's possible. But when you have a child, this is forever, it can't be undone." Amy's voice was trembling slightly. She didn't dare to watch his face.

But Sheldon insisted for her to do so. "Amy, please, look at me."

She searched for his eyes. It was almost completely dark, but the display of their digital alarm clock and the illuminated city in front of their window provided enough light to let her see how serious he was.

"When I got married to you I did it with the intention to be yours forever. And if we'll have a child and this child binds us to together even more, not only by being a combination of our DNA, but also by depending on both of us, I will never see this as a possible burden, but as one of the greatest things that can happen to a couple of human beings."

He paused for a moment. "Of course, there are some fears, like financial issues or that the child won't know the difference between a differential and an integral at the age of two. But I'm ready to deal with it."

He kissed her tenderly. "And when the first child becomes dumb, we still have a good chance that the second gets more intelligent."

"You even want a second child?"

"Yes, of course. It's not good for a child to be the only one. Just think of single child Howard."

"But two is enough. Or even more?"

"Well, I think, two is perfect. First of all, it's practical. Most cars have enough space on the backseat for two child seats, but not for three or more. Also, many houses or apartments do not provide enough space for more than two children. When I was a child, I first had to share my bedroom with my sister and when I grew older, I had to share it with my brother. Why didn't Missy and George share a bedroom and give me my own room? They played with each other all the time, anyway and left me out. But no, when it comes to sleeping arrangements it's important that my sister has her own room. Why? Was she afraid I could see her in her pyjamas?"

"Mmh, that was really not fair." Amy nodded her head in approval.

"Furthermore" Sheldon continued "When you and I die, we will be two people that are gone from the earth. And then we will be replaced by two new people. So, we make our contribution to maintaining the population. Although, what do we do when one of our kids dies before he or she gets adult? "

"Sheldon, I really don't want to think about that now."

"But that's highly illogical. One should be prepared for everything and it's possible that one of our kids has an incurable disease."

"Sheldon, I said I don't want to think about that." Suddenly Amy's mood had changed drastically. But Sheldon didn't notice.

"But shouldn't we make a new child then? For the stable American population? And for the other child not being alone?"

"Sheldon, are you serious? How can you even think that we can replace a lost child with a new one? This is not possible. And now we will stop talking about that." Amy turned away from her husband. She didn't want him to see the tears that were starting to fill her eyes. She knew, he didn't want to hurt her with what he just said. But it did hurt. It hurt a lot.

 **I really have had a very similar conversation about losing a child with my husband (who is an Asperger's autist himself). I was completely speechless and although he absolutely didn't mean to hurt me, I think it was the most awful thing he's ever said to me.**

 ***I don't know how to translate this biological terminology properly, maybe it's even known in the English language? It means something like cuteness or scheme of childlike characteristics.**


	3. Chapter 3

Amy tried fighting back the tears, but she was failing miserably. One after another they were running down her cheeks, over her nose and into the pillow. Then there came the sobs. She just couldn't help it. Her whole body was trembling under the emotional turmoil that Sheldon's last words had caused to her.

"Amy…" His voice was soft and full of concern. "Amy, why are you crying?"

His tender endeavors to comfort her were forming a harsh contrast to his awful words he uttered just some moments ago. How could one person be so contradictory? She knew he probably hadn't meant it that way, but still...

"You want to have a baby, Sheldon. Finding out the reason for crying is considered key skills for being a parent, I guess." That sounded more cynical than she had intended to. But she was desperate. And angry. And sad.

"Amy, did I say something wrong?"

"Yes, Sheldon, you said something wrong." Did he really not understand? She sniffed her nose. "You really upset me with the way you just spoke about our future children. You frighten me. Our conversation went so well and I was just starting to think about having a child with you. I've seen myself holding a little, cute baby in my arms, while you sit next to me and tickle the baby's feet... But then, suddenly, you say something so terrible." She became angry again. „Kids seem to be some sort of commodity for you. If one gets broken, you just buy something new!"

„Amy, I - "

Amy interrupted him roughly. She was really angry now. "And you know what's the worst? Your part in the whole affair will last only some minutes. Afterwards, it's all on me. Probably until the new child is able to speak. HOW DARE YOU?"

Sheldon's voice was now loud, too. „Amy, please listen to me. I never said that I wanna replace one child with another one. At least that's not what I intended to say. I know very well that every child is an individual. My parents couldn't have replaced me with another child and your parents couldn't have replaced you. But I know it's possible to lose a child. As terrifying as that may be. And it's important to me to be prepared for any scenario. Therefore, I want to talk with you about it."

"Sheldon, I don't think I can do that." Amy had become calmer now. The anger had given way to sadness, again.

"Please Amy, just listen to me." He spoke softer now, too. "I am very aware that this is a very emotional matter, also for me. Because it's about human beings that we love as much as ourselves or even more. At least this is what I hope to be able to feel for our future offspring. But even if in our society, in opposition to ancient societies, we mostly get children because we want to have cute little bundles of joy that we can give all our love to and that we can pamper and just give the best possible childhood, there's still a function that kids have when they have grown adult. Today has shown that very clearly to me. Children care for their parents when they are old, at least if they are not totally estranged. And they help them finding a new sense in life. Also society depends on the younger generation to take care of the older ones and pay for them with their taxes, amongst other things."

"Yeah, we spoke about some of those things this afternoon at Robert's garden."

"You know, the thought of losing a child is hurting me deeply, too. But I allow it, I don't repress it, like many other people do. I am trying to image what comes after the pain and the sadness. And for me, there is the question if you can load such an emotional and financial burden as caring for the two of us when we're old and making a contribution to the wellbeing of the society on a single child. I'm really upset that I didn't make that clear from the beginning."

Amy turned around and looked at him. She wiped the last remaining tears from her face. "And I am really sorry for yelling at you. But I guess I just cannot think about these kinds of things the way you do. It doesn't make you a bad human being that you are able to fade out the emotions. But I am not able to do it. I am not able to think and discuss about it. Please just accept that, ok?"

"Ok."

They looked at each other in silence. Finally, Amy spoke again.

"Sheldon?"

"Hm?"

"I guess you will be a very good Daddy, in your own, very special kind of way."

"So, you still wanna have a child with me?"

"Yes."

He drew nearer and pulled her in a tight embrace. His words were only a whisper. "Thank you for understanding me and accepting me the way I am. I love you."

"I love you, too."

He looked at her, again. "So, when will we start our kids project?"

"Well, first of all I will finish that pack of birth control pills. That has been expensive, after all."

"Oh, your thrifty Daddy would be so proud to hear that."

 **So, this chapter was very short. But they have solved their dispute and that was important to me. The next chapter will be longer, again. And more cheerful, I promise!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Originally, I had this story intended to be T-rated. But after all that sadness in the last chapters I thought something more "entertaining" wouldn't hurt, right? Furthermore, this is a story about having kids and well, somehow, they have to be conceived don't they** **?** **So, M-rated for this chapter and maybe for future ones!**

Two and a half blisters of birth control pills, three menstruations (that were accompanied by heavy cramps, but fortunately they had the marigold tea) and two weeks later, the day was finally there. Amy and Sheldon were going to have unprotected sex for the first time in their life. It was frightening, exciting and somehow they felt very, very solemn. Today was possibly the day when they created new life, when they made a new human being and when the irreversible decision who their first offspring would be, was made.

Sheldon had insisted that it happened with dignity. After all, if his child would ask him one day, under which circumstances he or she had been conceived, he would want to be able to look in that kid's eyes without shame and tell the whole, true story. When Amy had asked him how much truth he found appropriate for a little child and Sheldon had answered that he planned to be completely honest and detailed with his explanations from the beginning, this had (after a while) led to a heavy discussion about the question if children need to believe in Santa Clause or not, in which they just couldn't find any consent. After that fight, they both had not been sure anymore if they ever would be able to raise a child as a team. But in the end, they had decided that they just would have to try their best.

So today was the day. Everything was prepared for their lovemaking being as dignified and solemn as possible. They had bought a new mattress, that gave the best support to the lumbar area. They also had purchased new bed linen, that were made from ecological produced and fair-traded cotton. They had cleaned the bedroom and themselves properly. They even had placed some candles around the bedroom, although Sheldon only had agreed to this when Amy had allowed him to keep a fire extinguisher next to his bedside table.

Now they were lying in their bed, facing each other in the flickering light of the candles. Amy was smiling tenderly at her husband, but Sheldon seemed lost in his thoughts. The idea of what they were going to do, the possible significance of this night, the expectations he had on his own succeeding, gave him a hard time of getting in the right mood.

"I have to admit I'm quite overwhelmed right now", he admitted after a while. "Can you imagine how it must have felt for the people in the past? When they got married to somebody they have never lived with before, then in the wedding night they had sex for the first time in their life and on the top, there was the not so small chance for them to get pregnant at first try? How is it possible people survived that mentally? I know I couldn't have."

Amy carefully caressed the sensitive skin behind his ear with the tip of her index finger. "Well, I guess we're really lucky to live nowadays and have the chance to experience all those things step by step and at the time we're ready for them. And with the person we want to."

She paused and spoke again after a while. "But if you aren't ready tonight, we don't have to do this."

"I guess I am ready, I just don't think I'm able to, you know…" He looked at her apologetical.

"Let me see want I can do", Amy said softly and then started to let her hand wander under the sheets, heading for the middle of his body.  
She started to stroke his soft, warm penis lovingly, felt how it slightly twitched under the sensation of her moving fingertips, how the blood started to rush in, how it slowly increased in volume and grew harder, how it started to straighten up, how after a while the foreskin slowly slipped away and the wet, smooth tip came peeping out of its covert.

Encouraged by Sheldon's soft moaning, she gently pushed the sheets aside from their bodies and bent over his arousal now. She took his hand in hers and with the other one she started to stroke his shaft, letting her thumb slowly slide up and down. Sheldon moaned louder and let his head fall back into the pillow when her mouth closed cautiously around his tip. His free hand went to her head and shoved into her hair, pushing her even deeper on him. "Is this alright for you?" he whispered with closed eyes, hoping desperately she would agree. Amy only squeezed his hand approvingly, in order to not hurt him with her teeth by giving verbal consent.

She let her tongue dart out and encircle his corona, feeling the change in texture of his skin, then back to the little hole in the front where she let her tongue make tiny circles, while she watched the expressions of growing lust in her husband's face.

"Oh God, we can't tell this detail to the kids, no way!" Sheldon exclaimed, as Amy flickered her tongue cautiously against his frenulum. "I guess we can skip this detail in our report", Amy agreed, then she let her lips slide down as far as possible, taking him in almost completely, and started sucking. "Oh, please don't ever stop this", Sheldon moaned, while one of his hands was still holding Amy's head tightly and the other one tried to get hold of the flowered sheets. He started to move his pelvis unconsciously, lifting his hips, pushing himself deeper into her mouth. His whole body was trembling with lust now. "Amy! Oh God! Please go on, go on, this is so good…" He arched his back, his eyes were closed, his mouth open, his face mirroring all the glorious feelings that Amy were giving to him.

But suddenly he teared his eyes open, remembering their plan. "Oh dear Lord, we have to stop! My gametes are almost on their way, I can feel it. Lay on your back, Amy, fast, that's the best position for conceiving! I'm sorry, I haven't asked you: are you ready?"

She nodded, biting her lip in anticipation.

Sheldon positioned himself on top of Amy and thrust into her vigorously. He couldn't wait much longer, even not for her. The desire for release had overcome him. He imagined those millions of gametes inside him, begging to get released, to start their journey, their competition, to follow the call of Amy's ovum. And there was the chosen one. It would have to be strong, to fight for itself and to find its way to the ovum. He imagined how those two parts of their future child were longing to find their significant other, to join and become one, the ovum waiting with open arms for the one gamete that was right, the chosen one, just like Amy had waited for him patiently with open arms, until he had finished his journey and his fight and finally found his way to her.  
In this moment, he felt a huge wave of love for Amy rushing through him and tears started to fill his eyes, when he whispered a heartfelt confession of love against her lips before he kissed her with great tenderness, knowing that this time there wouldn't be enough time for her to join him in his ecstasy. Some more thrusts and he was there, coming undone, opening the doors, releasing the millions of little fighters, each of them bearing another genetic material, being the half of another optional child, of another future.

Exhausted, he let his body sink on Amy's and closed his eyes. But suddenly there was panic, again. Now they couldn't influence anything anymore. Their bodies would do everything on their own, their gametes would make the agreement completely alone, without them, Amy and Sheldon, having a word on it. They would have to trust them blindly, although it was common knowledge that the kids nowadays never did what they were supposed to do, so what to expect from two halves of a kid? How could they ensure that the right decision was made, that the ovum let the right sperm in?  
He confessed his fears to Amy.

Amy thought that if a child was born, exactly this child would be the right one and it would be impossible to imagine another one and that the mere thought that this child would not exist if the circumstances of conceiving had been different would be unbearable.

"But how can we ensure that everything goes the right way at conceiving so that exactly this future child is created? How can we ensure that your ovum doesn't chose the wrong sperm? What are the odds that your ovum choses exactly this one, right sperm?" Sheldon was wondering now.

„Is that a rhetorical point or would you like to do the math?" Amy asked to make him feel better for a second.

"I'd like to do the math."

"I'd like that, too."

"Yeah, but since we don't know the exact amount of sperms I have just put into you and we also don't know if you will conceive this time at all, I fear it's a hopeless endeavor. But I think we can say that the chances for a certain sperm to succeed are incredibly bad." He shrugged his shoulders in defeat.

"You know Sheldon, we shouldn't worry about this. However the future concerning our kids will look like, it will be the right one. I guess if we now could influence something to make sure it becomes right, it would be wrong in the end. It's like in those time travelling movies you enjoy watching so much. Somebody travels back in time to improve the future where he lives, but by his interference the future where he lives doesn't exist anymore."

"I actually had a similar discussion with the guys some years ago. But what if our interference was successful and – "

"Please, just let fate take its course, Sheldon. Everything will be good the way it will be."

"Pff, fate. You don't believe in that yourself!"

"No, but I don't have a better expression for it right now. Furthermore, is it more reasonable to believe in time travelling?"

"Well, I – "

"Daa, daa, daaa, da-da! Dum-dum, dum-dum, dum-dum…"

„2001: a space odyssey, good choice. But only this one, Soft Kitty wouldn't have worked, just to let you know!"

Amy didn't get pregnant in this night. And not in the night after and not on the next try. And after some weeks the heart beating excitement retreated and was superseded by normality again und one day they almost had forgotten that Amy wasn't on birth control anymore.

 **I hope you liked this chapter as well and I'm looking forward to your reviews!**

 **I have to admit that sometimes it's really hard for me to find the right words for my stories, since English is not my native language. I use google translator and other tools a lot, but sometimes I'm not sure if the words suggested there really have the meanings that I had in mind. And sometimes the words I'm looking for just don't seem to exist in English language and I have to find a way to describe it otherwise. So, if there's something in my way of writing, that seems odd to you, please just give me a hint, because I really would like to improve my English writing!**


	5. Chapter 5

As the weeks and months went by, it became a regular habit for Amy to visit websites and online communities dealing with pregnancy, parenthood, family and babies. She loved to skim through the discussion threads in the online forums where people shared their stories about how they found out that they were pregnant, how they told their partners, and what a live changing experience giving birth had been. Amy loved to imagine how she was staring at a pregnancy test, waiting for the second line to appear, and then, when she wouldn't expect it anymore, it would start to manifest itself slowly. In her daydreams, she saw herself jump up and down, dancing, crying for joy, running to Sheldon, jumping on his arms and he would spin her around full of happiness, kiss her and tell her how much he couldn't wait for them to become a family.

She also had told Bernadette and Penny about their plans to get pregnant and they supported her the best way they could. Since she wasn't on birth control anymore, her menstrual cycle had become very irregular again and she had to wear the protection again every day to avoid unpleasant surprises (but at least the tampons didn't hurt that much anymore as they did at virgin times). So, every girls' night they had, started with Amy having a pregnancy test, just to be sure she really wasn't pregnant before they started drinking wine. But Amy wished eagerly there would come they day when she would raise her glass because of happiness and not out of frustration. The nonalcoholic bottle of champagne had been waiting in the fridge patiently for a while now.

One day in early spring, it was still quite chilly outside and Amy did not only suffer from spring fever but also seemed to have caught a cold, they had dinner with the gang. Chinese Takeout, one of Amy's favorites.

In Penny's and Leonard's living room everyone was chatting happily, making jokes and stuffing the food inside. But somehow, Amy couldn't enjoy it. She had thought that a meeting with her friends would cheer her up, but instead they all annoyed her. Bernadette annoyed her with her fertility, Penny annoyed her with her beauty (really, how could she eat so much and stay so thin?), Raj was annoying because he was smelling like the whole perfumery department of a store… hell, they all better had stayed at home, including herself! And on top, the food that she normally liked so much, tasted terrible this time! What was suddenly wrong with that chef of the restaurant?

"Ames, some wine?" Penny asked friendly and a little concerned about Amy's mood.

Wine. How was it possible she ever had liked wine? Sheldon was right. Grapejuice that burnes. Ugh! Disgusting!

„No, thanks!" She replied

„Are you sure? It could cheer you up. And you said you aren't pregnant yet."

"I SAID, I DON'T WANT WINE!" Amy yelled suddenly. Everyone looked at her in shock. She felt ashamed immediately. "I'm sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me today. I'm just so tired and I feel ill and how is it possible you all like the food so much? It tastes awful today! I guess, I'll just go home and sleep a bit!"

"I'll come with you and make you a tea" Sheldon suggested.

They both got up and left for their apartment.

"What's wrong with her?" Howard asked, when Amy and Sheldon had gone through the door. Bernadette just smiled at him with a cryptic expression on her face.

"Peppermint for my little Lady…"

"I don't want any tea right know, Sheldon. I feel sick, something in that Chinese food must have been really spoiled."

"Ok… Amy, listen, maybe it would be a good idea to try one of these…" He went to his satchel and took out a little package. "You know, recently you feel tired, ill, sick, you don't like your favorite food anymore, you're capricious. Don't you think you could be pregnant in the end?"

He gave her the little package. It was a digital pregnancy test.

"Sheldon, a woman can feel it when she's pregnant, everyone on the internet says it. And I don't feel pregnant at all, I just feel sick. And I have eaten very bad food which makes it worse."

"Everyone ate the food, Amy. It was delicious as always."

"I don't think so. It has caused problems to my stomach."

"Amy, please, just do this test. And afterwards we'll see how to go on, ok?"

Amy looked at him annoyed. "Ok, but I can tell you, I am NOT pregnant!"

Peeing on that thing without soiling the hands wasn't that easy. But in the end she was successful. Amy sighed and put the test on the shelf above the sink. How ridiculous. She had made many pregnancy tests before and she never had been pregnant, although sometimes she had had a really good feeling. Why, of all, should it be different today, when she didn't feel pregnant at all? She splashed water into her face and cleaned her teeth. It didn't help to make her feel better. She grabbed the pregnancy test in order to throw it into the trash before she would go to bed. Only by chance she shot a short glance on it. Pregnant. Amy stopped all her movements. Then, slowly, she held the test closer to her face. Pregnant. There it was written, black on a little grey display, no two possibly confusing lines, just one word. Pregnant. No. No, that wasn't possible. That wasn't how pregnancy felt. She was ill, wasn't she? A cold, probably, and a sick stomach… But… on the other hand… it was standing there and those tests were really accurate nowadays… She breathed in and out deeply. So, this was the moment she had been waiting for so long. She was pregnant. She was pregnant! A tiny smile appeared on her face, but then immediately she began to worry. Was this really what they wanted? Had they really made the right decision? What if they became awful parents? There was no way back now… Amy felt even worse now. Shivering she sneaked back into the living room where Sheldon was waiting for her. She could see how nervous he was.

"And…?"

She breathed in deeply. „You were right. I'm pregnant! But… but I'm so confused right now … I don't know…"

„Pregnant. That's good news, Amy." He hugged her briefly and then excused himself. "I have to do something. I'll be back soon." Having said that, he disappeared through the front door of their apartment.

Amy stood there, not sure what she was feeling or thinking. Her body felt awful, a little part of her felt joy, another one felt fear and overall, there was just a lot of confusion. And what about Sheldon? Why did he disappear so suddenly?

This was not how she had imagined it at all. Where was the overwhelming joy, the jumping and dancing, the tears of happiness? This all felt so wrong somehow.

She needed to talk to somebody. Penny was there right across the hall. Amy didn't think another second, just opened the door, marched across the hall and opened the door to the other apartment. Her bestie was standing there in the kitchen, cleaning some dishes. Leonard wasn't around.

"I'm pregnant". She just blurted it out.

Penny let the dishes fall into the sink. Amy heard something break. But Penny didn't care. She jumped and ran towards Amy with open arms, smiling at her like crazy, hugging her tightly and rocking her from one leg to the other. "That's wonderful, Amy! I'm so happy for you! I know how hard the last months have been for you!" Amy heard Penny sob, she felt her tears of happiness on her face. Then, suddenly, she was grabbed around the back and lifted up a little bit. Penny reacted exactly the way Sheldon and herself hadn't been able to. After a while, Penny let her go and looked at her. The expression on her face changed instantly. She was worried now. "What's wrong, Amy?"

"I don't know, Penny, I just don't know."

"You planned to have this child for so long. Aren't you perfectly happy now?"

"I don't know. I'm just confused."

„Why are you confused?"

„You know, we've been waiting for this moment for so long, I've dreamt about it so often. And now it's there, but I cannot feel the joy, I just can't feel it. Have you ever been disappointed about your own feelings, Penny?"

"Well, I've often been disappointed in my brain, if that counts, too?"

"This should be one of the happiest moments of my life. But it doesn't feel like that. I was much happier when I got my high school diploma, for example. What's wrong with me?" She was almost screaming the last sentence, tears were streaming down her face.

"Shhh, shhh…" Penny had put her arms around Amy, again and was now rocking her like a baby. "I think you just need time to get used to the thought. Have you already told Sheldon?"

Amy nodded silently, sniffing her nose.

"What did he say?"

"He said "That's good news, Amy.". But after a short hug he said he needed to do something and left the apartment. What is that supposed to mean? Do you think he doesn't want the baby?"

"No, I don't think so. First of all, Sheldon has decided to become a father and when he once decided something he's sticking to it. Second, if he wouldn't want the baby anymore he would have told you so. But he said it's good news. I just think he needs some time on his own to realize it. It must be very difficult for him to sort out all his emotions, don't you think?"

"Mh, maybe."

"You know, Ames, you and Sheldon, you both are so quick with your brain, but I think from an emotional point of view, you both are pretty slow. Sheldon even more than you, obviously. And I believe that you two are incredibly happy about your pregnancy. It's just that this information hasn't reached your consciousness yet."

Amy breathed in deeply and sighed. A little smile appeared on her face. "I guess you're right. Probably I just need some time."

"Would you like to drink a tea with me?"

"Yes, very much!"

After a while Amy returned to her apartment. When she opened the door, Sheldon was sitting at the kitchen island, waiting for her. He got on his feet and they embraced each other tightly without a word for a long time.

"I'm sorry," Sheldon said quietly after a while. "I know I shouldn't have left the apartment. But I needed some time on my own."

"I know. I think I'll need it, too."

"But in general, do you think we made the right decision?"

"Yes, absolutely!"

"Me, too!"

They smiled at each other. Then, Sheldon gave Amy a little paper bag from the drugstore. It was containing two packages of dietary supplements. "Iodine and folic acid," Sheldon explained. "It's considered as absolutely necessary for pregnant women. Furthermore," he turned around to the kitchen island again, "I have printed a schedule which food is recommended for future mommies to eat and which you should give up for a while. But you won't like it: bye, bye, camembert cheese, bye, bye, prosciutto, bye, bye, sushi…"

"Yeah, I know, I'm not looking forward to that part of pregnancy…"

"And here's another schedule which tells us when we should do appointments at your gynecologist. The next one is… as soon as possible! Wow, I'm really looking forward to it. A gynecologist is the only kind of specialist doctor where I haven't had an appointment, yet!"

"You're planning to come with me?"

"Sure, I have to make sure he does his job right!"

"Really?"

"Ok, maybe I'm also a bit curious to see our baby in the ultrasound."

"Our baby, that sounds great!"

"It does!"


	6. Chapter 6

Every morning, it was the same. As soon as Amy woke up, there was the nausea. Most of the times she was able to run to the bathroom before her stomach started to empty itself with an amazing force and tenacity. But sometimes she really was happy that the plastic bucket next to her bed had become some sort of new item of furniture.

But nausea was only one of the problems. The world was full of smells she had never recognized before. And Raj's perfumes and body lotions were the smallest of the problem. Suddenly Sheldon's talcum powder that she normally loved so much, smelled awful (and she prayed to a deity that she did not object but also did not really believe in, that in a few months, when the baby was born, she either would like the smell of baby powder again or that there were other possibilities of keeping a baby's botty dry). She couldn't stand the smell of coffee, she couldn't stand the smell of alcohol, she even couldn't stand the smell of the water that came out of the pipes.

Not to mention the food. The only thing she really liked nowadays was the apple puree that her Dad had made from the apples from Robert's garden.

Luckily, when they had visited him some weeks ago, he had convinced them of taking some more of the dozens of jars with them. Not being able to throw any food away, he had gone to the empty house a few times more and collected all the apples he could find, in order to make puree from them.

At one of his trips he had found a very lean and disheveled cat straying around the house, that he had taken with him. Sheldon had found this very disconcerting, but at the same time he was reassured now, that the empty bowl of animal food that they had seen, had belonged to an actual animal and not a phantom. And he was happy that finally he didn't have to think about the question anymore if there had been cat's or dog's food inside. Really, that uncertainty had driven him crazy sometimes.

Amy on the other hand, had been irritated about the cat's behavior. All the time it had been brushing against her legs and jumped on her lap as soon as she had sat down (which she had done often, because she was so tired). She just didn't have a proper explanation for it.

Today was their first appointment at the gynecologist. They didn't know him yet. Amy would have loved to visit her previous gynecologist again, after all, she always had felt so well in his presence, that she didn't want to leave his examination chair and he then would have told her that she overstayed her welcome. But sadly, he had quit his job. So, now there would be a new person in her live that was allowed to shot a glance between her legs.

Amy had already had her morning routine: throwing up, feeling awful, having a shower, feeling awful again (because of the smell of the water), eating a bowl of apple puree and wondering how long she would be able to wear her favorite skirts before they became too tight. She knew that Penny and Bernadette were longing for the day when they could do some pregnancy clothes shopping together, because she had carelessly promised them that they were allowed to choose some pieces for her.

Now they were approaching her car when suddenly Sheldon made a surprising suggestion: "Let me drive the next weeks."

"Why?"

"Well, I'm afraid that while you're driving you could feel sick again suddenly and since you always have to throw up so quick, this could become really dangerous while you're driving."

"Hm…, I don't know…"

"Furthermore, I need some more practice. Maybe I'll have to bring you to the hospital when the baby is arriving?"

"Honestly, I will make sure that Penny and Leonard will be around, too, but ok… Probably it's not a bad idea!"

They entered the car and after Sheldon had adjusted everything to his satisfaction, he started driving. The first meters, everything went well, but then, after a red light, when they were already rolling and Sheldon wanted to speed up a bit, he suddenly got confused with the pedals and they did an abrupt break. Immediately Amy ripped the door open and her stomach emptied itself on the street.

"You see", Sheldon said proudly. "Good, that I was driving!"

"If you had not driven, Sheldon, I wouldn't have become sick!" Amy said and looked on the street. At least, half digested apple puree didn't look very different than fresh one, so a second attack of nausea cold be prevented. But anyway, she thought it was a good idea to close the door as soon as possible and leave this place.

Amy didn't feel very well for the rest of the ride and when they entered the doctor's office, it didn't get much better. The doctor was a man in his 60's whose skin was so bronzed and wrinkled that Amy was afraid for a second that some days ago he had fallen into a giant fryer and nobody had helped him out. His sparse hair was colored in a light blonde, almost yellow, in his mouth there was a row of unnatural white looking teeth and a golden chain was hanging around his neck, the pendant almost covered by his grey breast hair, that was lushly oozing out of his widely opened pale pink button shirt.

"So… Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler and… Dr. Sheldon Cooper, what can I do for you?"

"I'm pregnant!" Amy felt so sick and just awful at that moment that her statement sounded much more desperate than she intended it to be.

"I see… Well, I have had many couples here dealing with unplanned pregnancy. I'm sure we will find a solution for the both of you…"

"Unplanned? No, it was planned!" Sheldon interrupted him. „And we succeeded finally!"

The doctor looked at Amy now. „Ah, ok… So, you're…happy… about that pregnancy? I'm sorry, you just didn't seem to be…"

Amy looked at him in confusion. „Yes, I am. I really am!" And in that moment, she really started to feel it.

The doctor sighed relieved. "Ok, that's good news. Well, then, I would say, we do an ultrasound and have a look at your little one, ok?"*

Amy smiled and nodded and wanted to lay down on the examination table.

"Ehm, I'm sorry, but the first pregnancy ultrasounds are done from the inside", the doctor explained. "I must ask you to sit on the chair."

Sheldon gulped hard. "Amy, do… do you want me to see this? Or shall I wait outside?"

"Don't be ridiculous, you won't see anything you haven't seen and touched yet!"

"Amy, please, we're not alone!" He whispered and looked at the doctor in shock.

But the doctor seemed to not hear them. At least he didn't show any reaction.

So, Amy climbed on the chair and spread her legs widely, when she put her feet on the footrests. Sheldon gulped again. He didn't want the doctor, especially not this doctor, to see her like this. This was his view only. But it became even worse. Now the creepy gynecologist was unpacking a condom.

"Wha… wha… what are you doing there?'" Sheldon stuttered, his face white from shock.

The doctor turned around and faced him grinning. "What does it look like to you?"

Now Sheldon was gasping for air.

"Relax, Dr. Cooper, this is only a protection for the ultrasound tool!"

Shaking his head slightly, he was taking now a long white tool (that somehow reminded Sheldon of the battery operated chew toy for dogs that he once had found in Penny's closet) and put the condom on it.

Sheldon still didn't understand. But then his eyes widened in shock. The doctor put that thing… inside… Amy… and started to move it around. This wasn't how he had imagined it. And he didn't like it at all… That part of Amy was his…

"There we are!" The doctor suddenly interrupted his thoughts.

"Here we can see the placenta, and there is the yolk sac…!"

Suddenly Amy started crying.

"There, there…" The doctor patted Amy's thigh. "That's the hormones, you know? Your hormonal balance is so muddled up right now, that some animals, like cats for example, can even smell it. Do you also suffer from nausea, my dear?"

Amy nodded and sniffed.

"Well, there's not much you can do, but I can give you a sample pack of globules, maybe that helps you."

Homeopathy? Sheldon liked this doctor less and less…

"Oh look, there's the little embryo!" the doctor said now.

Sheldon looked at the screen and although normally he didn't like babies at all, he had to smile immediately. "It looks like a gummi bear with its little stumpy arms and legs!"

"Can you see if it's a boy or a girl?" Amy asked the doctor.

"Oh, I'm sure its intersexual, Amy!" Sheldon chimed in.

"WHAT? Why do you think that?" Amy looked at him with big eyes.

"Well, he's kind of right", the doctor now confirmed. "The gender of the child hasn't developed yet, but it will start the next days. Hopefully!" He winked at them grinning.

"Ok. Can you see how old the baby is?" Amy asked now.

"Yes, it's eight weeks old, you can see that from…"

Sheldon wasn't listening anymore. Eight weeks old, that meant, it must have been conceived… his eidetic memory was skimming through all the times they had sex… OH MY GOD! NO! That wasn't possible…

 _It had been a distressing day for both of them. A lot of work to do in the institute, a lot of discussions why Amy wasn't pregnant yet and on top, their TV had broken down._

 _Sheldon wanted to sleep badly, but he just couldn't. His mind was swirling around all his problems and just let him not find any peace. He first tried to sleep on the back. Then, because that suddenly was as uncomfortable as hell, he lay on his stomach. Not better at all. He turned at both of his sides, tried it for some minutes there and then finally again on his back. No chance for sleeping._

 _Amy was probably asleep a long time ago. At least she was snoring slightly._

 _He sighed. There was one thing that always let him sleep immediately like a baby. But that was very inappropriate. Very much. On the other side, desperate times called for desperate actions, didn't they? He looked at his bedside table. Tissues were there. He sighed again, then laid back and let his hand slide in his pants. A short time after, he had found a steady, fast rhythm. He was almost there, when he suddenly the light went on and he heard Amy's voice next to him._

 _"_ _Sheldon, what are you doing there? Am I right in the assumption that you're masturbating?!"_

 _"_ _No! No, I… I… you're right... I'm sorry…" He felt awfully ashamed (and therefore he was happy that he still had his eyes squeezed shut because of the sudden light). It was the first time that Amy had caught him. Although she knew that he was experienced in it. After all, Leonard and him once had told her the story of the day when they met Penny after they returned home from the high IQ sperm bank._

 _"_ _Why are you doing that? You're not only disturbing me in my efforts to fall asleep and soiling the bed linen, you're also wasting your precious high IQ sperm!"_

 _"_ _I just cannot sleep... And doing it… you know, it helps me a lot finding peace and falling asleep finally."_

 _"_ _I know, I often do it, too…" Amy admitted quietly after a while._

 _"_ _What? And why do you make me feel guilty then?"_

 _"_ _Because my eggs don't get lost, no matter how often I come. And I don't soil the bed." Amy answered sassily._

 _"_ _But the real question is" she said after a while "why do we secretly pleasure ourselves instead of sleeping with each other?"_

 _"_ _Probably because it's not fun anymore", Sheldon admitted. "It's all about finding the right time in your cycle (which is not easy, because it's not regular), doing it in the best position for conceiving, afterwards lying there in awkward posture for making sure the fluid stays inside you… I don't feel loved anymore when we have sex, I have the feeling I'm only your sperm supplier."_

 _"_ _And I have the feeling of only being a sperm conceiver. And all that puts so much pressure on me. I'm always thinking I'm doing something wrong." Amy now blurted out almost crying._

 _"_ _You don't do anything wrong", Sheldon comforted her now. "Come here." He took her in his arms and stroked her hair. After a while she lifted her head and kissed him. First softly, but then the kiss grew firmer and firmer._

 _"_ _Sheldon?"_

 _"_ _Hm?"_

 _"_ _What if tonight we forget about all the rules we have set for ourselves and just have some fun with each other? Tonight, we won't think of conceiving at all. What do you think?"_

 _"_ _That sounds wonderful. What do you have in mind?"_

 _"_ _Honestly… I would like to watch you, when you… do it to yourself!"_

 _"_ _Really?!"_

 _"_ _Yes, I'd like to see it. The idea really gets my motor running…"_

 _"_ _Ok, but only when you do it simultaneously, too!"_

 _Amy gulped. "Ok, that seems fair!"_

 _They both slowly let their hands slide into their underpants while they were studying each other's faces._

 _"_ _Somehow this feels even more intimate then real sex, don't you think?" Sheldon asked after a while._

 _"_ _It does. I have never felt so close to you before", Amy whispered._

 _They just watched each other, feeling their own arousal grow and seeing the lust in the other one's face._

 _"_ _Would you do something for me?" Sheldon asked Amy hoarsely after a while "Can you please go on your knees and then lay your head on the bed?"_

 _Amy did it and Sheldon moved her nightgown up, until her bottom was naked in front of him._

 _"_ _Go on", he encouraged her softly "pleasure yourself again."_

 _He watched the fingers of her hand moving on her folds back and forth again, her thumbs on her clit, he heard her moaning and then suddenly she pushed two of fingers inside herself and he saw her juices flow over her wedding ring. It was the hottest thing he had ever seen, he lost his mind completely and without another thought he plunged his mouth on one of her buttocks, that had driven him crazy all the time and started sucking it while he was fiercly rubbing his painfully throbbing penis._

 _Oh, this was incredible, the taste of her flesh in his mouth, the smell of her juices, how she moaned under him. He felt so dirty, but so good, so damn good…_

 _Suddenly there was Amy's voice again, begging, almost imploring. "Sheldon, I know this is not what we have agreed on, but I don't want to come without you. Please, take me, I need to feel you."_

 _He didn't wait another second, grabbed her by they waist and pushed himself strongly inside her. OH DEAR LORD, that was different! So tight and… OH GOD, so good, so good... He felt and heard how his testicles were smacking against Amy's thighs, faster and faster, louder and louder, his hands gripping her waist, his gaze went to her bottom full of hickeys directly in front of him and OH SWEET HEAVEN, he felt her come, her tight walls squeezing him in the most delicious way and with a scarifying animalistic throaty sound he came, too, emptying himself in her, on her ass, on her hands and on the sheets, making him tremble, falling down on Amy, clinging on her, gasping for air._

 _After a while, he kissed the skin about her coccyx, smiled and closed his eyes. It was amazing, he felt this every time in a new way, what his arousal was able to do to him, his genius brain and his fears. This animalistic ride of joy surely didn't have created any new life, therefore they had lost too much "material", but they had overcome their problems and gotten even closer to each other and that was all that mattered tonight._

 _For a moment, he considered what if they had been successful today, what details he would be able to share with his kids. But then he rejected this idea as total nonsense, snuggled himself up to Amy, who was already lying on the bed again, tucked the bed linen around them and fell peacefully asleep._

"Dr. Cooper? Dr. Cooper? Are you alright? You're alternately turning red and white?! Would you like to lay on the examination table for a while? I'm sure I still have some globules, that could help you…"

"No, thanks, Dr., I'm fine!"

"Are you sure, Sheldon?" Amy had just finished dressing herself.

Sheldon just nodded.

"Well, you two lovebirds, I guess then we're ready for today! See you in four weeks!"

"Can't wait!" Sheldon mumbled and stormed off the room, dragging Amy with him.

 *** I have read that in the US normally the doctor doesn't do the ultrasound on his own, but this is done by an ultrasound tec. But since I have no experience with that and somehow I have no idea how a gynecologist's appointment for a pregnant woman could like then, I decided that in this story the ultrasound is done by the doctor itself, as I know it from Germany.**


	7. Chapter 7

Breathing in. Breathing out. Again. And again. Ok. Now he pushed the button with the green telephone handset. There was the dial tone… Would their kid still know what a telephone handset is? Probably, when one day, their kid would see one, in a museum (oh, they would visit a lot of museums, that was for sure!) it would say: hey Daddy, look, there's some 3D model of the call button of the telephone and -

"Mary Cooper on the phone, who am I talking to?"

"Mum, it's Sheldon. Is my number still not saved yet in your new telephone?"

"How can it be saved when my technically mostly talented son almost never visits me?"

"I'm sure George or Missy can save it for you, too!"

"That was not really the point of my complaint, but ok, I will ask one of them at their next visit! So, what's up?"

"We have news, mom!"

"I already had expected that. You've never been the kind of person who calls their mom without any occasion out of the weekly schedule. So?"

He breathed in deeply. „We're having a baby, mom!" He couldn't suppress a smile, knowing how much happy that would make her.

There was silence on the other end of the line. Then, finally, Mary talked again. "Oh Shelly…" then, silence again.

Sheldon was not so sure what to think. "Are you happy about it?"

"If I'm happy? Are you kidding? You have a wife and now soon a kid and you're earning enough money to nurture both! What else could a mother wish for her son to have?"

"Mmh, maybe a Nobel?"

"Don't be silly now, Shelly. I'm so happy! One of my biggest dreams is coming true! But I have to know the truth: was it planned or was it some kind of accident? I mean, from your perspective, no child is an accident in the Lord's eyes, of course..."

Sheldon thought back to the night of the conception. In that moment, it wasn't planned at all. But in general, they had planned it, so what was the truth now? He decided to tell her the whole story. Not all the details, of course. "It was planned. But we had to try really hard. You know, since last summer when Amy's great cousin Robert had died."

"Oh, Robert, of course, I'm still praying for his soul… But that's really a long time ago. Why didn't you tell me you have issues? I could have prayed for you, too?"

"That's exactly the reason we didn't tell you, mom. We didn't want everybody to have high expectations and asking us every month if Amy was having her period or not… We've already put a lot of pressure on the matter by ourselves."

"You know, Darling, that's probably not the kind of things you want to talk about with your mother, but often the babies are received in the moments when you just don't think of making a baby at all, if you know what I mean…"

"Yeah, I know what you mean, but I don't think I want to discuss this with you in detail." He was blushing heavily at the imagination of his mother knowing about their wild night.

"Alright. That's ok. You may keep your little secrets of marriage, honey! So, tell me, did you already think about a godfather or a godmother?"

Ok. Now it was time for the unpleasant part. His heart had started beating a little faster. There was news for his mom, that she wouldn't like to hear.

"You know mom, that the church and the believe in God is not the top priority in Amy's and my life. Honestly, it has almost no priority. I know that this is not easy for you, but you have to accept this."

"I know, Shelly, I know." She sounded a little sad now, even he could hear this.

"And, Amy and I, we have agreed that… we don't want to get our kid baptized. If he or she wants to do this as an adult, we will accept it, but we don't want to prescribe any kind of religion to our child."

"Oh Lord, please help me with this son, that has been spoiled by liberal Californian hippies! Sheldon, a person that hasn't been baptized will burn in hell. You cannot want this for your child?"

Sheldon sighed mentally. How often did he have had this discussion with his mother, over and over again? He knew that she believed in the existence of hell, a place made of fire and lava, where a horned devil with his hosts of demons tormented the pour souls of all people who had never been baptized, who didn't believe in God firm enough or who didn't follow the rules of the bible. Whenever somebody that she knew had died and this person wasn't such a fanatic religious as herself, she was sure that him or her had gone to hell. And she suffered, she really suffered deeply from her sympathy for those people. He then always wished he could somehow soothe her pain, but the only way he knew to approach problems was logic and that wasn't really helpful in her case.

"Mom, you know I don't believe neither in the devil nor in hell… We have talked about that so often"

"Shelly, the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist."

"That's actually a quote from a movie, that fundamental Christians hold for a truth."

"But it is true!"

"It's not!"

„Can you prove it?" That was always her killer argument. But not today. At least he hoped so.

„You know, mom, I have heard, that somewhere between Earth and Mars, there's a china teapot revolving in an elliptical orbit.* Howard says he thinks he might have seen it from the ISS."

"Sheldon, what's that nonsense supposed to mean?"

"Can you prove it's nonsense?"

"Sheldon, what do you want?"

"If you prove that the teapot doesn't exist, then I prove that the devil doesn't exist! Otherwise we will just agree that there's no need for any prove."

"Sheldon, stop with that games now. This is serious! Why can't you at least get the kid baptized? You know, how much you love preparedness and safety. See baptizing the kid as a kind of safety precaution for your kid's soul, can't harm, can it? And you don't have to do the religious education, I'd love to take that part for the both of you."

"Mom, if I would want a safety precaution for my kid's soul, I had to follow all the rules and rituals of all the religions of the world. And even then, I couldn't be sure if any of those religions was really telling the truth."

"But baptizing the kid cannot do any harm. So why don't you just do it for your mother's sake?"

"Because Amy and me, we agree that we want our kid to grow up with a firm faith in logic, science and humanism" Except that awful discussion about Santa Clause, he thought. "And honestly, we think that the sort of religious faith that the church, or at least your church, is spreading, is counterproductive to that."

It was true. Even if he would never admit it to his science colleges or even friends. His religious childhood upbringing sometimes made him doubt if all the things that science and logic and liberal people told him, weren't wrong in the end and he and Amy and their kids and all their friends would burn in hell one day for not believing that the bible was telling an absolute truth. He really admired Beverly, for example, for being a firmly convinced atheist. But he himself wasn't brave enough to finally cut the last thin string that still bound him to his childhood believe. Therefore, he still went to church once in a year, therefore, he still spoke his prayer at the dinner table, when his mom asked him to do so, therefore he still kept a bible somewhere in his book shelf. Because, some tiny place somewhere in the depths of his brain was in doubt, torturing him, making him afraid, although he actually knew better, didn't he? And he really didn't want all that insecurity for his kid.

"Sheldon, don't you think that there's a way for you to raise your child both religious and scientific?"

"Not when the religious education is based on a literal interpretation of the bible."

"But it's the only possible interpretation."

"That is your opinion."

"That is God's opinion."

"How can you know that?"

"It's written in the bible!"

"Mom, I guess we should stop this conversation now. I'll send you a sonographic picture of the baby via e-mail, ok?"

"Oh, that will be wonderful!" There was a pause. „I love you, Sheldon!"

"I love you, too, mom." He hung up the phone. "I love you", he whispered again. Then he burst into tears.

 **Actually, this chapter was very personal for me and I couldn't help crying in the end. I don't know if all of you can comprehend (on an emotional level) the religious conflict between Sheldon and his mom. But having grown up with a religious fanatic mother myself, the conflicted relationship with his mom is one of the things that makes me feel really close to the character Sheldon.**

 ***Just to avoid misunderstandings and for legal reasons: this nice analogy wasn't invented by myself, but by the british philosopher Bertrand Russell.  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**I'm so sorry for not updating this story lately, I simply didn't have time for writing! But finally, I was able to continue.**

 **So, I hope you have fun reading the next chapter!**

 _ **14 weeks of pregnancy:**_

Sickness was still Amy's constant companion. Not only in the morning, no, all day she felt awful. Why was everyone calling it morning sickness when it tormented her from awaking till falling asleep? Many days she had to stay away from work, because the only thing she was able to do was lying on the couch, watching old sitcoms on TV and pressing her acupressure point above the wrist. She wasn't sure if it really helped from a physical point of view, but at least, concentrating on pushing her fingers at the exact right spot on her arm distracted her from the awful feeling in her stomach.

She had searched the whole internet for useful tricks. " _Ten Tips against pregnancy sickness, that REALLY help_ ". Who wrote those articles? Didn't those authors know what damage they could do in a poor pregnant soul by creating such high anticipations with their headlines? Anticipations that got disappointed as soon as she had skimmed the article? Nothing had helped. Nothing. In all her desperation she even had tried the homeopathics that the gynecologist had given her. She had been ready to stop believing in the inviolability of science and logic and to fundamentally change her view of the world and to have a huge fight with Sheldon who would have called her insane and who would have been deeply hurt, if only they had helped her. But they hadn't. And she wasn't sure if she was relieved about that or not.

 _ **18 weeks of pregnancy:**_

"So you don't like any of them?"

"Nope!" Amy was shaking her head in disappointment. "How is it possible we're not able to find a name, that we both like?"

"Because your suggestions are all ridiculous!"

"My suggestions are ridiculous? I didn't write "Hermione" and "Gandalf" on my list!"

"I don't know what you want. I think both are not only extremely loveable characters, but also role models. Except for smoking pipe in case of Gandalf."

"I want our child to have a name that has a nice sound and that is no embarrassment on the schoolyard."

"And I want to name our child after somebody that means something to me!"

Amy sighed. Everybody had told her that looking for a name was one of the most delightful tasks of pregnancy. She couldn't agree less. It was horrible. Why couldn't they find a compromise? "Fine! I will have a look at that online forum, again! Maybe I should create an account there, too, and ask for advice…"

Amy opened her laptop and started reading. Then she frowned her eyebrows.

"Why are you looking so irritated?" Sheldon asked her.

"I've just read something really crazy. Look!" She turned the laptop to him, so that he could read the forum thread.

 _"_ _Shinystar86": Hi everyone! Currently I'm looking for a name for my little one, that will be born in August. My husband and me like "Benjamin", what do you think about it?_

 _"_ _pink_apple": Hm, I don't know, "Benjamin" just doesn't sound appropriate for a baby, I think. Why don't you just call him "Benny"?_

 _"_ _Shinystar86": Don't you think "Benny" sounds too childish for a grown-up man?_

 _"_ _pink_apple": Sorry, but I just cannot imagine a little child being called "Benjamin". That's so long and old fashioned and it just doesn't sound cute. Sorry, just my opinion._

 _"_ _LadyBlue": My suggestion would be to call him Benny officially and when he's grown up, he can use "Benjamin" as a nickname, so that it sounds more adult! *_

 _"_ _pink_apple": LadyBlue, one can always rely on your ideas! That's just awesome! Shinystar86 that's just the perfect solution for your problem!_

Sheldon looked at Amy, then they both burst out laughing.

"Ok, I won't ask the people in the online forum, I promise!" Amy giggled. Then she laid her head on Sheldon's lap and he caressed her shoulder tenderly.

"Don't worry", he calmed her "We still have plenty of time and I'm sure we will be able to find a wonderful role model with a nice sounding name… What about… Sokrates? Hm? Ok, that look on your face I cannot interpret yet…"

 _ **21 weeks of pregnancy:**_

"I still don't know why we cannot order all that stuff online! Then we could sit on our couch now instead of getting lost in this awful store!" Sheldon had stopped walking and folded his arms huffily.

"It's not awful! I like to get inspired by all the cute stuff they have here… Oh look, there's a completely furnished and decorated baby room. Isn't that nice?"

"Oh boy…"

"You know what? Why don't you have a look at the buggies and car seats? There's a lot of technical details you can compare. Just take the one with the best features. Then call me and I choose the color!"

"Oh, that sounds wonderful! Comparing technical details reminds me of my train quartet card game, that MeeMaw once gave me for my birthday! See you later!"

One and a half hour later:

"Amy? Where are you?"

"I'm here! I'm just searching for some onesies! It's said on the internet that you should have at least six, but I have found only four different styles."

"Why don't you just choose a style and take six of it? See, I also have a lot of identical looking underpants..."

"Because I think that dressing my baby in different onesies will probably be one of the few varieties that I will have as a mother of a new born."

"I see… Anyway, I think I've made the perfect choice now. I found a buggy that has gotten the highest ratings by a customer protection committee and by a standardized ecological test. Its low center of gravity prevents it from toppling over and the handle is adjustable in height. Furthermore it has changeable wheels, a lot of equipment and you can even fix a car seat on it, if you want to. What do you say?"

"Perfect, if it's available in red. I want a red buggy, that is my precondition!"

 _ **28 weeks of pregnancy:**_

Suddenly something felt odd while they were brushing their teeth. Amy couldn't name it. The colors in the room had become different, maybe more intense, as if somebody had put a photoshop filter on a picture. Sheldon's voice next to her suddenly seemed far away, then a swoosh started filling her ears, becoming louder. The ground started swaying, she dropped her toothbrush into the sink and clinged herself on the rim. She couldn't see anymore. Then there were Sheldon's hands under her armpits, guiding her to sit on the floor.

The next thing she could remember was herself sitting on the cold bathroom floor between Sheldon's legs, her head rested against his chest, feeling his breath next to her ear.

"Are you ok, again?" He asked her concerned.

"I think so… Wow, I guess I just passed out."

"That's right!"

"Why? Is my blood pressure that low? I just measured it half an hour ago…"

"Maybe. Or our little one is pressing on your vena cava." Softly he stroked her heavy swollen bump under the nightgown. "Twelve weeks, Amy. Then it will be over!"

Amy sighed. "Yes, but when every day feels like an eternity, twelve weeks is a lot!"

"Then it's 84 eternities, to be precise. Which is the same as one eternity."

"Thank you, that's not very consoling! Will you help me up?"

Cautiously Sheldon helped Amy to get up and accompanied her to the bed.

When they were lying there, side by side, Amy spoke again. "Can you imagine how much I miss lying on my back or my belly? My spine always hurts after a while when I'm sleeping on my side. Just like now!" Ok. Turning around. She could do that. Amy breathed in deeply. She put her hands on the mattress for support, gathered some energy and started to turn on the other side. Done! Phew! Then she burped unexpectedly. "I'm sorry!" she whispered above her shoulder into Sheldon's direction. He only caressed her back for comfort, having grown used to her late pregnancy problems a while ago.

Fainting, burping, flatulencies, heartburn, cardiovascular problems, swollen legs… there was almost no pregnancy problem that Amy didn't suffer from. Even her eyes had gotten worse, so that she needed to purchase new glasses. But the only problem she always had been sure she would have, because she even got them as a teenager when her body started changing heavily, didn't occur: stretchmarks. Not even one, surprisingly. Well, in the end she deserved a bit of luck, didn't she?

 _ **32 weeks of pregnancy:**_

Today, she was really having the best job. Amy sat on the couch reading a magazine, a cup of tea rested on her belly hidden under her flowery pregnancy dress. Around her, the whole gang was busy, preparing the apartment for the arrival of their child.

"Ok… test it!" she heard Howard shout from the bedroom where he was installing the high-tech baby monitor.

"Works!" Leonard shouted back from the kitchen island, where he sat and stared on the receiver device. "The infrared picture also indicates that your body temperature is slightly higher than normal!"

"Shall we test it?" Penny, who was preparing the changing table, grinned and raised a thermometer.

"You know it's rectal, don't you?" Raj asked, while fixing a somehow familiar giraffe mobilee above the crib.

"Never mind!" Penny threw the device into the drawer and closed it quickly.

Sheldon was cleaning the windows. And although Amy had said several times that it was absolutely futile, a waste of money and a senseless pollution of the environment, he had insisted to purell them not only from the inside, but also from the outside. And she had thought that the recent thorough cleaning of their kitchen shelves and cabinets had been the summit of unnecessary activities!

Bernadette crawled back from under the ladder that Sheldon was standing on.

"The last socket protection is fixed! But I have to warn you, it will take some time until you have found the right move for plugging your vacuum cleaner, so better start training now!"

She let herself fall down next to Amy on the couch and took a glance at her enormous belly.

"You know what? You're really lucky of never wearing pants. Once, when I was pregnant with Halley we were on a long car ride and my trousers got so tight and uncomfortable that the only solution for me was to take them off as if I was sitting on the toilet. You can bet the people in the car next to us made dumb faces!"

Am laughed loudly and then smiled at Bernadette. She took a glance around the room and suddenly felt proud and incredibly happy. Even if her and Sheldon's families were far away, they would never be alone with their baby. Their friends would always support them, each in their own, special way.


	9. Chapter 9

**Please notice that the following chapter will contain explicit descriptions of a bad and maybe even traumatizing experience of giving birth, including a lot of pain and fear.  
If I hadn't changed the rating for this story to M for previous chapters, I definitively would have done it for this one. So, please read this chapter with caution!**

"There's the first contraction, it works! Congratulations, you're in labour! Now it will only be a matter of hours until your baby will be there! I'll come back later to look after you and to give you the next ration of the drug."

The nurse patted Amy's hand, gave a concluding look on the CTG device, nodded at Sheldon and left the room.

Amy looked at her husband. There was a mix of anticipation, fear and uncertainty in both of their faces. That wasn't how they had imagined it at all.

 _Two hours earlier:_

 _"_ _It's the penultimate appointment Sheldon. Soon we don't have to see him anymore!"_

 _"_ _I hope so! That guy creeps me out!"_

 _Amy and Sheldon had just entered the building of the gynecologists office and were now climbing the stairs. Really, why did a gynecologist have his office on the third floor? Even walking on straight ground had become a difficult task for Amy recently._

 _Some minutes later she was lying on the examination table, the CTG device creating the rushing, throbbing and gurgling sound in synch with their baby's heart, that they had grown so used to. But today the doctor that liked to do inappropriate jokes so much, had deep lines of worry on his strongly tanned face._

 _"_ _I must ask you to stay calm now, my dear…" he said finally, when he looked up at them with concern. Amy saw the panic coming up in Sheldon's eyes, a vein at his temple was pulsing fast._

 _"_ _What's wrong?" Sheldon asked with a rough and silent voice._

 _"_ _The heart sounds of your baby are not ok. You need to see a doctor at the hospital immediately. Probably the birth must be initiated medically."_

 _"_ _But… I… but…" Sheldon stuttered. He was blinking hectically._

 _"_ _Dr. Cooper, I know this is not your plan. Men like you always have a plan. Forget it. I'll call you a taxi to the hospital, neither of you should drive now."_

 _Nervously they had taken the taxi to the hospital, spoken to a bunch of different doctors and nurses who had done several medical examinations, but in the end, everyone was agreeing that the baby had to be born within the next hours._

 _So, Amy had to sign a contract which said that she agreed to receive a medicament called misoprostol that originally was developed to cure stomach ulcer but that then had turned out as encouraging contractions, too. Sheldon wondered if the drug was sold by the pharmacy company Bernadette worked for. But he didn't dare to ask. This was not the right time._

So now Amy was lying here on a narrow and uncomfortable examination table in the hospital, with a CTG device attached to her belly, a peripheral venous catheter in her arm and a nervous husband next to her, who was studying the different possibilities of an artificial birth initiation on his smartphone to distract himself from his helplessness.

As the hours went by and she received more and more of the drug, the labour pain slowly became stronger. When finally the night broke in, it was strong enough to prevent her from sleeping, but way too few to start giving birth. Every six minutes that night, Amy sat up in bed and breathed in and out calm and deeply for processing the contractions better. Then she let herself sink back into bed and waited for the next wave of pain.

The next morning the dosage of her drug was increased, again. And again at noon. After a while, the medical staff started to make little remarks that one should think about a different way of induction of labour if this one wouldn't start working properly soon.

But that turned out to be unnecessary.

It had become late afternoon and Amy had started to get really exhausted. After all, she was in labour now for almost 24 hours and didn't have slept the last night (Sheldon had, but he wouldn't admit it, in his version he had sat awake on his chair all night, worrying for her wellbeing and only had closed his eyes for some minutes).

Amy had just drunk a sip of water and laid back on the examination table, again, when suddenly she felt an immense pain in the belly. WHAT THE HELL had that been? Had her uterus broken? Had the baby kicked her vehemently? Had it somehow managed to turn around in its narrow cavity? She still was speculating about the reasons of that pain, when it happened a second time. In that moment she realized, that now apparently the REAL contractions had set in. No! NO! She refused to believe it. That couldn't be possible. Another one set in. Oh my GOD! How could humanity have survived by suffering this cruelty while giving birth? Then she felt something wet between her legs. The amniotic sac had burst. So, this was becoming serious, now. Oh God. Oh God. She started to panic. Then she felt the urgent need to find a toilet. Her intestines wanted to empty themselves with vigor. After another heavy contraction that made her squirm, she finally could get up and go to the bathroom. As soon as she sat there on the toilet she felt nausea. What had she done to endure all of this? Hadn't she always been a good girl?

"Sheldon! I need a bucket, quick!"

„But Amy, you're on the toilet…"

"Come here, fast!"

Sheldon entered the bathroom and saw Amy's body already on the brim of vomiting. He grabbed a little dustbin that was standing next to the sink, threw off the lid and held it under Amy's face. The awful smell emerging from it gave her the little rest she needed for throwing up.

Breathing heavily Amy grabbed for the toilet paper to clean her mouth. She threw it into the dustbin and looked ashamed into Sheldon's worried face. "This is so humiliating… I… Can you please wait outside until… I have finished… this? Then you need to help me get back to the – AAH, OOUH" The last word of her sentence was cut off by another, heavy contraction.

After a while, Amy was lying on the examination table, again. Sheldon was sitting next to her, holding her hand, still overwhelmed by the recent events. A nurse they hadn't met yet came in and looked at the monitor. The labour pain that tormented Amy so much were nothing more than some colorful curvy lines and numbers for her.

"It will still take a while. Don't you want to go for a little walk in the park? The sun is shining!"

"I don't think she can walk anymore, Miss!" Sheldon hissed angrily.

"Please, Miss, can you tell me if THIS pain is normal or if something is going wrong?" Amy asked the nurse pleadingly.

"Having pain while giving birth is normal. Have you been living under a rock?" The nurse shook her head and left the room.

After some hours the night had set in, again, and the pain, that Amy only could compare to a heavy calf cramp, had become constant. As soon as a contraction had stopped, another one set in, without any pause. She felt completely helpless, trapped in her own body. Everything she had learned about what to do while labouring was forgotten and her breathing frequency was almost as fast as her pulse. She simply was trying to survive. This was the worst nightmare she had ever been into.  
But the monitor didn't show what she felt. Judging from the technic, she was still far away from being ready for the final phase of birth giving.

A doctor came in and put his hand inside Amy's vagina. She just let him go. She didn't care anymore how many people saw her most intimate part of the body or even touched it. Everything she wanted was all of this to have an end. Then the doctor measured the width of her cervix with his fingers and she screamed because of the additional pain that it caused.

"3 centimeters," Amy heard him whisper to the nurse. "Why is that taking so long?"

"Please, I need an epidural!" Amy whined suddenly. She couldn't take it anymore. Everyone had told her she should try it without epidural, that would be dangerous for her spine and the bonding with the baby would be much easier without painkillers. But she simply couldn't bear the pain anymore.

The nurse and the doctor looked at each other and nodded. "We will fetch the anesthetist", the doctor said.

"What have I done to you? What have I done?" Sheldon whispered desperately.

„Don't say that, it will be over soon", Amy tried to calm him. Or did she want to calm herself?

After some minutes, that seemed like hours to Amy, the epidural was put, the medicals had stopped the pain and Amy had fallen asleep immediately. In retrospect, she would always consider this as the most wonderful moment of giving birth.

But the illusion was deceptive. After some hours of much needed sleep, a nurse (again a new one) woke Amy up.

"Your body is ready for giving birth now, look!" She showed her some waves on the monitor. "You will feel some pressure in your abdomen, soon. But please don't start pressing yet, just say ooooh in a very low voice, ok?"

"Ok!" Amy nodded confidently. What could happen to her? She still had the epidural, she wouldn't feel the pain at all.

Soon, Amy noticed some first little pressure in her abdomen and met it with a deep and calm "ooooh".

But quickly, with the next contractions, the pressure became more and more and the deep "oooohs" became high pitched "uuuhs".

"Ok, with the next contraction you can start pressing!", the doctor said.

The contraction came and the pain of the pressure was overwhelming. Suddenly she was caught in the nightmare again. How was it possible she could feel SO MUCH PAIN with an epidural? Amy pressed as hard as she could. And again with the next one. She wanted this to end so badly. Why didn't it end? Why?

"I can already see the baby's hair! Press again!" the nurse now shouted. Desperately, Amy tried to press harder.

"Bring the suction cup!" Amy heard the doctor scream to some people who had come into the room. „Press as hard as you can! Press!"

Amy pressed and pressed. The pain was unbelievable.

"Dangerously low heart sounds of the baby! Stop pressing! Emergency C-section! Immediately!" The doctor was shouting now hectically.

Amy suddenly felt as if she was watching a movie, as if all those things didn't happen to herself. There were people around her everywhere, fumbling around with her body, the medical devices, loosening her bed and pushing it across the room and then the corridor running. Sheldon was running with them, then suddenly he had disappeared. Then she was in the anteroom of the operation room, four people were heaving her on a plank bed, which was rolled quickly to an operation table. There were a lot of people covered completely in green, she couldn't really see their faces. A cloth was hung in front of her face.

"She got an epidural. Probably it's still enough," someone said hectically, "We don't have much time left. Start cutting!"

Amy felt the scalpel cutting into her skin. It didn't feel worse than cutting her finger with a kitchen knife and it was way less painful than the contractions. But the fear of what she could feel next made her scream with a high pitched voice she had never heard from herself before.

Green, grey and white in a timeless place. Colours floating around above her head. She didn't wonder where she was, she only perceived. Then, after a while, the colours slowly started forming shapes, there were round objects with little circles inside, spinning around, they got less and less until there was only one object spinning around that finally stood still. Suddenly there was a face above her face, but as quickly as it had come it was gone. Or had it been there longer? Time was different than usual, everything seemed to be not in order, disconnected, like in shreds and Amy started to wonder where she was and what was wrong. She had no idea.

She heard human voices talking and although they were talking loud and clearly and she knew she language they were using, she didn't understand the _meaning_ of the words she heard. What was wrong?

Suddenly Amy remembered that she had been getting the C-section and then she had felt the scalpel. Something had gone wrong. Awfully wrong.

Amy started to panic. Why hadn't she been able to see properly? Why was time so different? Why wasn't she able to understand her own language anymore?

Could it be that she had fallen into some sort of coma? Or was this even a near-death experience? Oh God, maybe Sheldon's mum had been right in the end and this was hell, where she had gone to for not believing enough in God?

Amy had never been so afraid in all her life. But after a while she could recognize some of the spoken words, again and calmed down slowly.

No, she was still in the operation room. They round thing above her head was a lamp. They must have given her a special anesthesia, that made her dizzy in the brain. Far away she heard a baby cry. Was that hers? Maybe… Somehow she didn't really care.

Suddenly there was someone who asked her what name they wanted to give to the child. So, it must have been her baby she had heard crying… She wanted to answer that they hadn't found a name, yet, but she had forgotten how to speak.

So this is how my brain works under the influence of a certain drug, Amy thought… The neuroscientist in her was intrigued but the human being just wanted this all to end.

Finally, someone took away the curtain. Amy saw some people in green clothes standing next to her. "What kind of anesthesia did you inject me?" she managed to ask. "That felt like a weird drug trip…"

"Oh, that was ketamine. Cool, hm? In the sixties we used that instead of LSD for our parties!" Amy knew that voice very well. She looked at the doctor who just had been talking to her and furrowed her brows in confusion. It was the creepy gynecologist. She recognized him from the strongly tanned skin. "Surprised to see me here? Half of my working time I'm in my office, the other half I'm working in the hospital. Always at your service, my dear!"

Half an hour later, Amy's bed was put into another room. Sheldon sat there, waiting for her, awkwardly holding a bundle in his arms. Never in her life had she been so happy to see him.

"Hello, Sheldon" she said with a small and tired smile on her face.

"Hello Mummy" he answered and smiled at her tenderly. "May I present you our daughter?"

He walked over to her bed cautiously and lowered his arms, so that Amy could see the baby's face.

"Do you want to hold her?" Sheldon asked.

Amy nodded. „Of course. But I cannot move my arms properly, yet, so you have to help me, ok?" Honestly, she didn't really care for holding the baby right now. But that was what a Mum of a newborn was supposed to do, right?

Sheldon sat on the side of Amy's bed and gingerly laid the baby on her chest. With her index finger, Amy slightly caressed her daughter's hair. It felt very soft and silky.

So this was it. Here she was, holding her newborn baby in her arms.

This was the moment they had been waiting for so long, the moment she had been fighting for so hard. How did she feel now? It was difficult to say. She was incredibly glad that giving birth was finally over. The pain and fear had been the worst in all her life. She was relieved that neither her nor the baby had been harmed. She was happy to see that Sheldon seemed to be ok with being a father. But she was also deeply disappointed she hadn't been able to give birth in the natural way and she still was shocked about the pain she had felt. And there was the thought, that she never would speak out loud to anybody except Sheldon, because he was the only one who would ever understand her: this was irreversible. They would be responsible for this child for the rest of their lives, there was no way back. They had wanted the baby, she still wanted it now, but becoming parents was a decision that never could be undone and that was very, very scary.

She remembered what people on the internet, Bernadette, her mother, just everybody had said: when the pain is over, you will feel a huge rush of love, you will be the happiest person on earth, when you hold your baby in your arms, everything else will be forgotten, this will be the most beautiful moment of your life.

She tried to feel the love and the happiness. But there was none of them. She didn't feel them. Apparently, for her, those kind of feelings simply didn't exist.

 **I know, poor Amy! And poor baby (whose name we don't know, yet). They seem to be so disconnected, right? Well, this story was never intended to be a fluffy one…**

 **But before you curse me for making Amy and the baby suffer that much: it will get better in the next chapter, I promise. The dark times are (almost) over!**

 **Another note: This story is actually based on my own (awful) experiences with giving birth, but I am very aware that those are not very "average" and that for most woman giving birth is a much more beautiful experience. So I hope, I did not scare anybody with this story!**


	10. Chapter 10

**As I promised, something more lighthearted today :-)**

The next days and weeks, while taking care of her daughter, Amy was pondering a lot over the recent events. Why had things been the way they were? Why had everything taken so awfully long? Why had she had the awfully heavy contractions, why had the baby's heart sounds been so bad? And why hadn't she felt any kind of happiness? Nobody at the hospital had been able to give her a proper answer. The baby was perfectly healthy (at least she didn't have to worry about that!), the doctors had checked her thoroughly, so maybe something had been wrong with Amy herself? Or maybe the opening in her beck bone had been too small for the baby's head? They hadn't checked that in hospital... But if she ever would be pregnant again (and she really wasn't sure anymore if she ever would want to have another child) she would get that measured, that was for sure!

She had asked her friends for advice how to deal with that experience. Howard had suggested to forget it and just look forward, as he had done it when his father had left the family. Penny and Leonard had said, it could be helpful to see a therapist, after all, they both had had a very good talk with Dr. Gallo.  
Her mum had said she should not complain, in the Bible it was written "with pain thou shalt bear children". Mary had said she didn't understand how that could have happened. Some weeks ago, she had called the worship team of her church, and they all had prayed together for her having an easy birth giving and for the health of the baby.  
Sheldon's idea had been the best of course, he had promised trying to invent a time machine and travel back in time to ask for a planned C-section even before the laboring would have started.

The baby… she still referred to her like that. But they finally had found a name.

 _„_ _Do you think she looks similar to one of us?" Amy asked Sheldon after some days._

 _"_ _Hm, I don't know… But somehow I think she looks familiar, as if I have seen her face before somewhere…"_

 _"_ _Really?"_

 _„_ _Yeah, I just don't know anymore – Oh, I remember now! It was a picture frame in Robert's house. On the picture, it was black and white, there was an old lady, sitting on a chair, dressed in clothes that looked like from the beginning of the last century. She had a serious expression on her face and behind her was standing a man in a black suit, who had laid one of his hands on her shoulder."_

 _"_ _Oh, that must have been Robert's grandmother, my great grandmother. She was called Rosalind."_

 _"_ _Like Rosalind Franklin! Who sadly never got a Nobel and who was accused from her colleagues as being unattractive because of never wearing make-up and fancy dresses…"_

 _„_ _Or like Rosalind in Shakespeare's „as you like it" who found love although she was dressed like a man."_

 _"_ _I like that name…"_

 _"_ _I like it, too!"_

 _They looked at each other._

 _„_ _Do you think the kids on the schoolyard could bully her fort hat name? I mean, it's pretty old fashioned?" Amy asked worried._

 _"_ _If she wants to, her friends could use an abbreviation like "Rose" or "Linda". I mean, "Penny" is also an abbreviation, don't you think so? I'm sure her real name is Penelope."_

 _"_ _Maybe. Heck, why don't we know that? We even don't know her maiden name!" Amy was shaking her head in disbelief._

 _"_ _So, we call her Rosalind?"_

 _"_ _Rosalind!"_

 _"_ _Ok, one moment please..." Sheldon took out his phone and typed in something._

 _"_ _What are you doing?"_

 _At that moment there was the sound of an incoming E-Mail on Amy's phone. She shot a glance on it. It was an Outlook-invitation for an annually recurring appointment: "Rosalind's birthday (2018)"._

Rosalind war a lovely child and she seemed to be intelligent, too. At least she used to observe her surroundings attentively. But when she started crying, and unfortunately, she did not cry very seldom, Amy was at a loss. She never knew with certainty, what was wrong! "You are the mother, you have to know it!" God, how much she hated that stupid sentence! How could she always know what her baby wanted or needed? So, when Rosalind was crying, Amy was always following the same routine: first, she took her on her arms and talked to her. When she still was crying then, she tried to find out if she could feel too warm or too cold or if her clothes were uncomfortable. When she still was crying then, she had a look at her diaper. And when she was still crying then, and most of the times she was, Amy tried it with breastfeeding. That always helped. Even if Rosalind was not hungry at all. But it calmed her and often she fell asleep while she was drinking.  
Amy and Sheldon had a lot of discussions because of that. Sheldon wanted her to adhere to a strict time schedule and breastfeed only once in three hours, because he wanted to be able to plan the day in advance, he hated when she had to breastfeed in public (well, honestly, she didn't like that, too), he didn't like to get disturbed every two hours or even more in the night and furthermore, Beverly had said that she would spoil the child. But Amy didn't want to hear what Beverly said about raising kids.  
Actually, she read a lot of books about raising children. But they all were constantly contradicting each other. At least most of them agreed, that in case of doubt a mother should listen to her instinct, and although Amy's instinct often just didn't seem to exist, she was sure of one thing: she would rather breastfeed her daughter all day without any pause then hearing her crying. Because that surely ripped her heart into pieces, even without having developed strong maternal feelings yet .

Sheldon tried to help as good as he could, even if his instincts seemed to be even less developed than her's. He did the groceries, the laundry, checked the safety of the car seat and the buggy every week und purelled everything that approached Rosalind to a distance of three meters. But somehow he had always managed to avoid to change Rosalind's diapers. Until now.

"Sheldon, please, I'm really exhausted. Do you know how often I have cleaned her? It's not as awful as you think. "

Reluctantly, Sheldon put a clean cloth on his shoulder, took Rosalind cautiously from Amy's arms and laid her on his chest, her head above his shoulder.

"Just to make this clear: I will use rubber gloves!"

"Don't be silly, you don't need them, you also don't use them when you clean your own butt!"

Sheldon didn't look at Amy, he just stared awkwardly at his feet.

"Sheldon?"

There was still only silence.

"You really wear rubber gloves while cleaning your own – I can't believe that! I always thought the box of rubber gloves next to the toilet was for cleaning the bathroom!"

"Now you know better!" Sheldon answered uppish and with a high raised head he swaggered into the bathroom.

Amy stayed in the living room for a while, shaking her head in disbelief. Then she sighed. Quirks and all! Well, in the end, that was one of the reasons she loved him so much.

She got up to the bathroom to apologize and to see if he got along with this new task. But when she opened the door he didn't hear her. So she watched him thoroughly cleaning Rosalind's butt, throwing the rubber gloves into the trash bin, putting on a fresh diaper (oh, it was the other way around, she would have to tell him later) and cleaning his hands afterwards.

"Ok, Rosy, you're fresh again!" He closed the onesie and put on her tiny pants and socks again. Then he laid his elbows on the changing table, took her head in his hands and lifted her upper body, so that she could have a better look at him.

"You know, I'm working on it. The rubber gloves and all. But your Mummy has no idea how hard that is for me. And she is the one who knows me best!" He sighed. "I just hope, I have not passed all those problems of mine on you. It's not easy growing up and living with all those fears."

He paused. "But even if you should turn out as a genius or at least a very intelligent girl, and I'm counting on that, I know you're too small for understanding me. Maybe next year we'll talk again…" He briefly considered what to do next. Then he smiled. "My mum always used to do this to me and my siblings, do you like it, too?" He tenderly rubbed his nose against Rosalind's. She just looked at him with big eyes. He rubbed their noses against each other again and suddenly a huge smile appeared on her face.

In that moment, Amy finally felt it. Like a ray of sunlight breaking through thick grey clouds, encasing the ground below in a warm and joyful glow, like a wave on the ocean building up higher and higher and then collapsing on her in all its sparkling and roaring glory: the love for her child. Here it was, overwhelming her completely with its force. In this moment she felt that everything she had suffered from in her pregnancy and while giving birth, had been worth it. This was her daughter, her Rosalind, a person that was unique in the whole universe and that only existed because Sheldon and herself loved each other. She would do anything for this child, who gave a new, additional sense to her life that she had not considered possible until now. She thought of the night when Sheldon and she had tried making a baby for the first time. What an unbearable thought it was if they had been successful that day. Because that meant Rosalind would not exist now. And a life with her was simply not thinkable anymore.


	11. Chapter 11

"Please hold her for some minutes, I didn't have time for myself all day, so at least I want to have a quick shower now, before we go to bed!" Amy had told him, before she had disappeared in the bathroom. Now she had been in there for almost half an hour. What took her so long? Normally she had finished her cleaning routine after 10 minutes.

Why did she need so much time right now for taking a shower, when Rosalind had been crying all day and distracting him from his work? He was exhausted and he couldn't bear all of this right now. Apologetical he looked at his daughter in his lap, that he just wasn't able to soothe.

"I'm sorry, we'll have to wait for Mommy!" he said to Rosalind, shrugged his shoulders and laid his head on the backrest of the couch. How could he calm the baby when breastfeeding was the only thing that helped?

He had tried everything. He had sung to her. He had told her about his work (what Penny always found slumberous), he had walked with her back and forth in the living room, he had tried rocking her in his arms. Nothing had helped. He really was frustrated right now.

Rosalind boxed and kicked him with her furious little arms and legs. Ouch, that hurt! So, he laid her on his bent knees, as far away from his stomach as possible, rubbed her belly with one hand (maybe she was aching there?) and with the other one he tried to keep a pacifier in her mouth.

"What the hell are you doing there?" He suddenly heard his wife's voice behind him.

"Holding her and trying to soothe her, as she was crying." He explained the obvious.

"You don't hold her, you're balancing her on your knees. Oh my poor baby, come to Mommy…" With that she took Rosalind from Sheldon's knees and hold her in her arms. Immediately, the baby stopped crying.

"She must have been afraid of falling down, that's not how you're supposed to hold a baby," Amy reprimanded him. "And furthermore, I've told you a thousand times, she doesn't like pacifiers! Our baby is able to tell silicone apart from nature. You're such a clever girl, aren't you?" With that, she softly tickled her daughter's belly, and Rosy smiled at her.

"I don't think that recognizing the difference between a natural breast and silicone is that hard, so, as sad as I am to say this, this is not an evidence of her intelligence."

"You think every baby is able to tell silicone and natural breast apart?"

"Sure!"

"What about Penny?"

"What do you mean? What has she to do with pacifiers?" Sheldon was confused.

Amy sighed. "Penny told me she got a breast job when she was 18."

"A breast job? What's that? Was she working at a table dance bar?"

"No! I don't know… Maybe… That's not what I meant. I meant she got plastic surgery for her breasts!" Amy made a meaningful face.

Sheldon's jaw dropped and his eyes widened.

"It's true, her boobs are false. Those babies on the contrary" she pointed on both on her breasts and raised her eyebrows in a seductive manner "are 100% real."

"Which is a good thing for breastfeeding, I guess. Speaking of which… I don't think I will be able to look after Rosy again, as long she's so dependent on you. She was crying all the time because I clearly couldn't give her what she wanted. Milk."

"What? I think the problem is that she feels unfamiliar with you because you don't hold her as often as I do."

"Because always when I hold her she's crying."

"Then you have to take her more often so that she can get used to you!"

"So that she cries even more?"

"I don't know how to solve this, Sheldon. But I cannot raise this child alone. I need some help."

Some days later: Amy rubbed her hands in joyful anticipation. After weeks of doing nothing than household and looking for her daughter, she finally had a task that would stimulate her grey cells at least a tiny bit: paperwork for their health insurances and filling in some forms that the authorities needed because of Rosalind's birth. She had had a bitter fight with her husband about that, because originally, he had planned to do it and he had been really looking forward to it. But in the end, Sheldon had given in. He had realized that sometimes you have to give away a cherished task in order to make your loved one happy. *

Amy had just filled in the first form fields, when somebody knocked cautiously at the apartment door. Who was that? They didn't expect visitors and Penny and Leonard never knocked, they just came in. They also hadn't ordered any pizza or something…  
Damn. She still was in her nightgown. Yeah, she knew you normally should have dressed yourself at eleven o'clock in the morning, but the nightgown was so practical for breastfeeding with its buttons in the front…

"One moment, please! " she shouted and speeded into the bedroom for fetching her robe. She tried to arrange her hair with her fingers at least a little bit and then went to open the door.

"Mom?! What a surprise? What are you doing here? I'm so sorry for looking like that, I didn't expect you… Come in!"

After having scrutinized her daughter's appearance critically, Mrs. Fowler went cautiously into the apartment, and stood in front of the couch.

"Please, sit down. Would you like to have a tea or a coffee? A water?"

"Nothing, thank you! I've brought my basket with me." The essential basket, of course, Amy thought. Her mother always used to carry this around, because a purse was not big enough for all the things she needed when she was not at home.

"Would you excuse me for a moment? I just want to put on something more… appropriate for your visit."

"Sure, I suppose we both would feel much more comfortable then." Mrs. Fowler sat down on the couch and looked around the apartment.

Amy had just gone to the bedroom and closed the door, when there was another knock at the front door. What the hell…?

"Mom, would you be so kind and answer the door for me?" Amy asked from inside the bedroom.

"Amy, this is your apartment, I don't think it would be appropriate for me to open your door..."

Amy rolled her eyes, opened the bedroom door, again and went straight to the apartment door. She never would have expected the guest that stood in front of it.

"MARY?!"

"Hello, my dear!" Mary didn't bother to explain why she was here, she just pulled Amy into a tight embrace for some seconds and then looked at her with an excited smile on her face.

"Wow, you look good, darling. How are you? How's Rosy? She's such a cutie, isn't she? I can't wait to cuddle her… Oh, I didn't see, you have another guest!" Mary had just noticed Mrs. Fowler who had silently sat on the couch all the time. She loosened herself from Amy and went to greet her mother, that she hadn't met before.

"Hello, I'm Mary Cooper, Sheldon's mother!"

"Patricia Fowler, Amy's mother, very pleased to meet you."

"Oh, I'm excited to meet you, too. Sheldon has told me so much about you. But he hasn't told me you would be here today." She shot a questioning look at Amy.

"He neither told me you would be here when he invited me to come." Mrs. Fowler now shot a questioning look at Amy, too.

"Wait, wait, wait, what? Sheldon invited you both to visit us?"

"Yes!" they both answered at the same time.

"He didn't tell me a word…"

"Maybe he wanted to surprise you?" Mary suggested.

"If he wanted to surprise me he could buy me flowers, or candy, or give me a massage, but inviting my Mom and my Mom in law at the same time without telling me? What's going on?" Amy stared at both of them in confusion. "I will text him! And then I will put on some clothes!"

"Don't worry, dear, it's perfectly normal to look like this with a newborn. I don't mind and I'm sure your Mom doesn't, either."

"You don't know my Mom," Amy mumbled, went into the bedroom and closed the door behind her.

She looked after Rosalind, who still was sleeping peacefully in her crib, then she took her phone from her nightstand and texted a short message for Sheldon. "What is going on here? You'll come home immediately and explain to me what our mothers are doing in our apartment!"

After that, she took a shower and put on the outfit, that her mother liked most at her, including her new blue orthopedic shoes.

When she just had fixed her hairclip, Rosalind woke up and started whining. Amy took her out of the crib and soothed her by whispering: "You won't believe who's in the living room, darling. Both of your grannies. What a coincidence, isn't it?" You could never start early enough getting a child of Sheldon's used to irony, Amy thought with a grin and then went back into the living room with Rosy lying on her shoulder.

Both of her guests were sitting on the couch now, trying to bring off a conversation. When they heard Amy's footsteps, Mary turned around immediately and jumped to her feet.

"Oh my… How cute! May I hold her? Oh, come to your Granny, my little one!"

"Mary, you haven't disinfected your hands yet!" Patricia Fowler interfered with a small voice, but Mary didn't hear her. She kissed Rosalind's cheeks a dozen times, put her nose into her hair and patted her back. Then she brought her to Patricia, who still was sitting on her couch and just had put the little bottle of Purell back into her basket. "Would you like to hold her, too?" Mary asked, already taking Rosalind off her shoulder and stretching her arms in Patricia's direction.

"Oh, the head, take care of the head, it's falling back!" Amy's mother called out with a silent, but slightly frightened voice.

"Don't worry, I've raised three children, a baby is not as fragile as some may think", Mary said, while lying Rosalind into Patricia's arms, who took her cautiously and with a hint of insecurity. "It's been a while since I've held a baby", Patricia said with a shy smile, "I hope I won't do anything wrong."

"No, you won't do anything wrong, God has given us women all the maternal instincts that we need", Mary tried to calm her.

"That's true, but honestly, I'd prefer some direct instructions for raising a child written in the Bible, just like the Ten Commandments. That would give me much more confidence than those constantly changing advices in the education books..."

"Oh, the education books. I've never read them!"

"Really? Oh, I read a lot of them, back then when Amy was a little, vulnerable baby." She looked at her daughter with a sentimental smile. "But they told me a lot of things I hadn't known before. For example, that you have to weigh you child before and after breastfeeding, so that you know if it has drunken enough." **

"What? You really did this with me?" Amy was shaking her head in disbelief. "Well, I'm not an expert of the Bible, but I'm pretty sure if there were some "Ten Commandments for raising a child" that the "put-your-baby-on-a-scale-nonsense" wouldn't be part of it!"

"How can you be so sure? Don't be presumptuous, Amy, the ways of the Lord are inscrutable!"

"So very true!" Mary chimed in, nodding heavily.

"Sure, 3000 years ago in the middle East the women would have had the time for doing that. They probably didn't even know what a scale is!"

"Who doesn't know what a scale is? Show me this person and I'll tell them, I love every kind of scales!"

"Shelly!" Mary jumped from the couch and hugged her son, who just had entered the living room, tightly. "Oh, my little baby, I had never dared to hope that you would have your own little baby one day. And now it's true, it really is true. Praise the Lord!"

"Amen." A soft voice could be heard from the couch.

"Patricia, what a pleasure to meet you again!" Sheldon greeted his mother in law.

"Sheldon, it's so good to see you, I'd like to stand up, as the decency demands, but I don't know how to do this with Rosalind on my lap, I'm afraid she could fall down…"

"Don't worry, just stay where you are. You're doing a great job. Isn't that what a grandma is supposed to do, to help her daughter with the newborn baby?"

Amy got an idea what all of this was about. "Can we have a talk in the bedroom, Sheldon?"

"Sure."

Having arrived in the bedroom and closed the door, Amy couldn't control herself anymore. "What's wrong with you?"

"I don't understand…"

"You call my mother and my mother in law to help me with the baby without my consent, because "that's what a grandma is supposed to do"?"

"Yes. You said you need help. You said you cannot raise this child alone."

"I meant you, Sheldon, I need your help!"

"But Amy, I'm not good at this, I'm unexperienced and I am a man. I don't have all those maternal instincts you have. But my Mom and your mother, they are women, they have those instincts and they have experience. They can help you."

"Sheldon, I decided to get this child with you, not with your mother or my mother. And therefore, I want to raise it with your help, and not with theirs."

"But in all traditional cultures it is usual, that the mothers care for the children with the help of the elder women, no man cares for the babies…"

"Sorry, since when are we living in a traditional culture?"

"I didn't say we did, but from an evolutionary point of view…"

"Sheldon, stop this!"

"But the natural way of raising kids…"

"Is it natural for a kid to wear nappies? Is it natural to sleep in a crib with a high-tech baby monitor above? Is it natural to wear fancy little superhero t-shirts? Is it natural to be carried around in a super safe car seat or buggy?"

There was an awkward silence. Then, suddenly, they heard voices coming from the living room.

"Do you really think this plastic cup of water works properly, Mary?"

"I do. Have you put the towel under her head? We shouldn't risk to spill water on the couch."

"I have. Are you sure we're doing the right thing?"

"Absolutely!

„If you say so…

„Don't worry, It's not the first time, I'm doing this." There was a short pause. Then, Mary spoke again: "Rosalind, I baptize you in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit..."

WHAT? Amy was silently forming the word with her lips.

"Oh no, I totally forgot about this." Sheldon whispered "In all Christian churches, there's the possibility of an emergency baptism, when the child is in danger. You don't need a chaplain for it, it can be done by any Christian person."

"But Rosy is not in danger."

"In my mother's opinion she is, as long as she's not baptized."

"Your mother is crazy!"

"And your mother is helping her!"

"Damn. What shall we do? We explicitly said we don't want our kids to get baptized. They shall decide this on their own, we don't want to influence them. Can we undo this somehow?"

Sheldon thought for a brief moment. "I don't think that's necessary. Our mothers have their peace of mind now, but they never will be able to tell anybody about their little secret ritual. So Rosy will never know she got this baptism, which means she still can decide it on her own later. Everyone will be happy."

Amy sighed. "I guess you're right. But I'm really angry about the way they interfere in our education and disobey our will."

"Me, too. Maybe my idea of letting them help you with the baby wasn't the best. I'm sorry!" He looked at her apologetical.

"No, it's alright. I guess in general a grandmother's advice can be very useful!"

"So we go back and pretend that nothing has happened?"

Amy smiled at him, took his hand and opened the door.

Some hours later when the grandmothers had gone, Sheldon was sitting on the couch, holding Rosalind tightly in his left arm, close to his heart, just as Patricia had shown him (after she had taken a look on an educational website, just to be sure).  
When the baby started crying because of the exhausting day, he used a trick from his mother's and let her suck on his little finger, what calmed her down immediately.

"Are you alright?" Amy asked, as she sat down next to her husband and put an arm around his shoulders.

"I am. I am confident now that I can learn to be a good and helpful father."

Amy laid her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes. She was sure that Sheldon could become the best father in the world.

* I'm not sure which kind of paperwork is necessary after giving birth to a child in the US, but I'm pretty sure there's some bureaucratic things you have to do.

** I don't know if that way of breastfeeding was fashionable in the US, too, but apparently, this was common in Germany in the 80's (at least my neighbor told me so).

You're maybe wondering why I let Mary and Patricia "get away" with their behavior. Well, it's my own experience with fundamental Christian people. They are genuinely worried about the soul of every person in the world and want to "save" them. Sheldon knows that for his mother it must be a real torture to have her granddaughter not baptized, because she's afraid of her soul's wellbeing. He would like to help her, because he truly loves his mother, but this is a fear he cannot take away from her without getting Rosalind baptized. But he just doesn't want Rosalind to get through the psychological problems that he suffered from as a child (religious vs. scientific view of the world), therefore he doesn't want her to get a religious education. So this is a serious dilemma for him (therefore he cried at the end of the chapter when he called his mom). This dilemma kind of gets solved with Mary's and Patricia's secret little ritual: the ritual itself is meaningless for Sheldon and Amy, for them it's important what you tell the child about the world, but for the grandmothers it's very, very important. So he decides to let them get their way, although their actions surely have crossed a border, which is not okay at all under "normal" circumstances.


	12. Chapter 12

With a proud smile on his face, Sheldon looked at his sleeping daughter. For the first time ever, he had been able to make her fall asleep with a lullaby. It was the result of long and hard work:

Since the day Rosalind had been born, she hadn't been able to fall asleep without breastfeeding. Which was a problem, obviously. Once, when Amy and Penny wanted to visit Bernadette for girl's night and Sheldon stayed at home for looking after the baby, Rosalind woke up and he wasn't able to make her fall asleep again. So, Amy had to come home early for breastfeeding the baby and getting her back into bed. After that, they had tried different methods of making her fall asleep, but nothing worked properly. Sucking on Sheldon's finger came close, but as soon as he took it away, Rosy was crying again. So, this wasn't the optimal solution.

Then, one evening, while she was breastfeeding her baby that was dressed in a pyjama with a puppy print, Amy had suddenly thought of the Pavlovian dog and an idea had occured to her… What if they used classic conditioning to get Rosalind used to something new, that could help her falling asleep and that (in contrast to breastfeeding) could be given to her by everyone? Wouldn't a lullaby be the perfect solution?

After a quite passionate discussion with Sheldon about which lullaby had the least annoying melody and a text that was sufficient to both of their quality standards (for example, Amy found "Hush little baby" too uncritically of capitalism and Sheldon found "twinkle, twinkle, little star" too unscientific), that resulted in them composing their own little piece of music, they had started an experiment and taken turns in singing the newly invented lullaby to Rosalind every time she was having her "Good Night milk".

After weeks of patient simultaneous breastfeeding and singing, today had finally been the day of the truth: Had, with the help of the unconditioned stimulus, the originally neutral stimulus of the lullaby finally become a conditioned stimulus? Would it trigger a conditioned response? Would Sheldon be able to bring Rosalind into bed and make her fall asleep?

Tadaaa! It had worked! It really had worked! Sheldon would never admit it to Amy, but he hadn't been that proud of himself for a long time. What a relief!  
Although a little bit disappointing that his daughter was so easy to manipulate, something that never could happen to himself… But he had decided to accept that. She still had so many years to learn all the important things that she needed to know as an adult from her Daddy. Sure, he was already looking forward to the time when Rosalind would be grown up and (hopefully) enrich the world with her wisdom, making Amy and him proud and being there for them when they were old. After all, that's why he originally wanted to have kids. But during the last weeks, that he had spent with his baby, he had understood that a child was not just an unfinished person that just needed to grow and learn. Childhood had its own value, maybe it was even the most important section of live and he loved the fact that he would be able to accompany his daughter that he loved so much (oh yes, he loved her, although he normally hated all kids, but he made an exception for her!) throughout all those exciting next years. Oh, what a hippie he had become!

Cautiously, Amy, who was already wearing her nightgown and robe, opened the bedroom door.

"And? Is she asleep?" she asked whispering

Sheldon, who was propping his hands on the white painted wooden side panel of Rosalind's crib, turned his head to her and smiled.

"Yes, it worked!"

"Oh my, that's a relief!" Amy sighed and stepped behind Sheldon to take a glance at her daughter. Then she laid her head on his back and her arms around his belly. Sheldon loosened his hands from the crib and cupped Amy's hands in his. He closed his eyes, leant a little into Amy and dragged her arms tighter around himself.

Amy enjoyed the feeling of his body so close to her. It had been a while since she had felt him _that_ way. In the last weeks of pregnancy her desire for him had been unusually high, but unfortunately her physical condition hadn't allowed her to engage in lovemaking anymore, she was out of breath too quickly and her heart would hammer as quick as her mother's sewing machine.

Then, after the awful birth giving, she just didn't want to have sex at all, it was the least thing that was on her mind, and she wasn't even sure if she would ever want to do it again, regarding the possible consequences…

But recently, there had been some special sort of dreams in the night. Dreams, that made her wake up with a blazing fire in her loins, dreams that showed her that her body and soul were aching for her husband. They had always been a save indicator for her having some urgent needs.

Tenderly, Amy let her thumb rub up and down Sheldon's waist. "Did you know I've dreamt about you last night?", she asked.

Sheldon turned around in her arms and laid his hands softly on her shoulders. "So, I'm still the man of your dreams? That's good to hear. What was the dream about? What did I say or do?"

"Actually, you didn't talk at all!"

"I didn't talk at all? That dream doesn't seem very realistic to me, you know how much I like to spread my wisdom and make everyone happy with it!"

"Well, in my dream, you let your body speak…"

"My body talked? And what did it say to you?"

"Hm, something like this, if I remember correctly." Having said that, Amy stood on her toe tips and kissed him tenderly. But not in the "thank you, I love you"-way or in the "goodbye, see you later"- way they had grown so used to recently. No, it was the "I'm craving for you and your body"-way. And, like somebody, that only realized he's been horribly thirsty after the first sip of water, Sheldon in this moment realized that he had been hungry for kissing Amy that way for quite a while now. In one second, his hands flew to the back of her head, his fingers buried deep into her hair and his thumbs laid at her cheekbones close to her ears, drawing tiny, but passionate circles, while he kissed her vehemently.

Amy dragged him closer to her body, his pelvis was pressing against her belly now and she could feel the heat that was emerging from there. How much had she missed this! Sure, it had been only weeks, maybe two months that they hadn't kissed and touched each other that way, but the world had become a completely new one for them since then and it felt as if it had been another age of time. She sighed into their kiss. Mmh, this felt good, so familiar and at the same time exciting, not knowing exactly what would happen next, only having a vague, but joyful anticipation. Soon, her hands got impatient and started to wander under his t-shirts and with a growing desire for more, she caressed his hot und smooth skin.

Sheldon was kissing her throat now, sucking on her skin and licking all the way from her collarbone to her chin, then his mouth travelled to her ear, where he nibbled on her earlobe, softly bit into the outer edge and finally traced the curves of her auricle with his tongue. Amy was melting under his touch and searching for more support, she grabbed for him, made him stumble a bit and they both bumped slightly against the crib. Horrified, they looked at their sleeping baby. Had they woken her up? But Rosalind just made a little snoring sound, turned her head and then continued sleeping peacefully.

"I'm sorry!" Amy whispered.

"No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have started kissing you that way. Probably it's better we stop, otherwise I really don't know how I can longer control myself", Sheldon whispered back.

"Why do you want to control yourself? The six weeks of waiting, that the doctors prescribed us, are over!"

"Really? It's already six weeks? And – and you would like to…?"

"I cannot tell you how I want to. I need you so badly, Sheldon!"

"Oh, that's such a good thing!", he said with a smirk and then kissed her again, while cautiously pushing her towards the bed. "But we have to be very, very quiet. I don't want all that singing to be in vain."

"Ok, maybe first of all, we just stop talking", Amy suggested before kissing her husband back passionately.

Sheldon loosened the belt of Amy's robe, pulled it off her shoulders and hung it quickly at its hook on the wall, while she was impatiently undressing her flowery nightgown.

Then, Sheldon struggled a bit with undressing his trousers, because he wanted to avoid the belt tinkling, but having finished that and gotten rid of his shirts and underpants, there was nothing holding them back anymore (except for the moment when Sheldon realized he still was wearing his socks).

"Who cares for the socks" Amy whispered with a moan, before she hungrily dragged her husband under the covers and devoured his mouth.

Sheldon's hands were roaming all across her body. How different it felt since he had touched it the last time. Her belly was much flatter than two months ago, of course, but softer and a little bigger than it used to be before pregnancy. He admittedly liked it that way, it was kind of cozy, but Amy often complained about it, that she'd never had the kind of body that fits to general beauty standards, but that after pregnancy it was even worse and that she was afraid she would never lose that extra weight she had put on over the last months, again. And there was the scar of course, directly under her belly, a little covered by her short dark hair, but clearly palpable. A thin red and still slightly swollen line, which was exactly 10,52 cm long. He had measured that some time ago with a metric tape measure. Oh, the metric system, so precise, he just loved it!

"Does that hurt?" he asked softly, while he let his finger slide along the red line cautiously.

"No, not at all. I honestly even didn't know you were touching me there," Amy admitted.

Sheldon gulped. "You didn't feel it? How about here?" He touched the lower part of her belly, where the linea nigra was still visible, reminding him of the seam of some old-fashioned nylon tights that he once saw in an ancient movie.

Amy was shaking her head. "Nothing. The doctors told me the feelings will come back. But it will possibly take some years until everything will be totally healed. The severed nerve tracts need a lot of time to recover." She laid her hand at Sheldon's troubled face. "Don't worry, I will be fine again one day. And those nerve endings are quite functional right now". She pointed to her nipples and raised her eyebrows seductively.

Sheldon's face darkened again. Sure, her breasts looked very inviting. So round and bulging and just… yummy! But not for him, no, this was Rosy's territory now. He couldn't interfere in there, that just didn't feel appropriate anymore... Even if he would cross boundaries and touch them (what he was longing to do, to be honest): what would happen if suddenly some milk would flow out? This seemed quite probable, considering how filled up they looked. Would he freak out? Maybe… Probably…Not to imagine sucking on them with his mouth, Oh God, no, no, why did he even think about it? He couldn't drink Rosalind's milk. Suddenly he felt sick from the mental image.

"Sheldon? What's wrong? You look pale. Don't you feel well?" Amy seemed worried.

"I can't do that, Amy. I… I… When I see your nipples, I always have that image in my mind of Rosalind drinking from them and I feel… I just cannot touch them as long as your breastfeeding. I'm sorry."

"Oh, wow. I've never thought about that," Amy confessed a little disappointed. To be honest, she wouldn't have cared at all, if some milk hat interfered their sexual foreplay. But she had to accept his distaste of it.

"Well, do you still want to have sex?," she asked him, although she already knew his answer, his arousal was barely noticeable anymore.

He shook his head and looked at her apologetical.

"That's alright, Sheldon, we don't have to do it tonight. And for the next time we will find a solution, ok? Maybe I just keep my bra on."

Sheldon nodded, then he spooned Amy tightly and placed a little kiss on her hair. "I love you, Amy. And I love Rosy. I love you both, more than I'm able to mentally process."

Amy let out a little sigh. „I know", she whispered barely noticeable, then they both fell peacefully asleep.


	13. Chapter 13

**Thank you all very much for your patience with me and this story! The last weeks and days were just really busy for me and in December the time always just flies away (especially when you have children). You probably know what I mean… Anyway, yesterday I finally found some time for finishing the following chapter. I hope you have fun!**

Some days later in the evening, Amy and Sheldon were lying in bed next to each other, both tucked neatly under the flowery covers and reading their favorite kind of fictional literature in the small light of their bedside table. Rosalind was sleeping peacefully in her crib, her father was enjoying an exciting adventure taking place in the Marvel universe and her mother was reading something that originally showed a bare-chested and broad-shouldered man on its cover that was about to kiss a young woman's cleavage, but that (surely inadvertently) had been wrapped in book jacket of a parental guide…

They hadn't talked about their recent averted sexual encounter anymore, but it bothered Sheldon a lot. He didn't know what was wrong with him. Since their kiss at Rosy's crib some days ago he was longing to touch Amy, but something held him back. It wasn't that he didn't find her beautiful or didn't desire her anymore, on the contrary, he found her as desirable as never before. In his eyes, she just looked gorgeous with her newly gained curves, especially that breasts. But the thought that some of that milk could somehow reach his own lips, no, that thought seemed so inappropriate and wrong to him, that he was afraid to even touch them. On the other hand, if he had been so squeamish some months ago, Rosalind wouldn't exist now. He still turned slightly red when he thought of _that_ night…

Being at a loss, what to do, he sighed and shifted slightly in bed. There was Amy's knee. Softly, he laid his own knee against it. It was nice to feel her body warmth through the pyjama pants. Cautiously, he let his leg slide along hers and then tenderly stroked her little toe with his. He sighed a little, again. It just felt so good to touch her and if it only was this tiny gesture.

Amy shifted a little closer and laid her head on his shoulder. Oh, the scent of her hair, so tempting! He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment.

She was holding her book with one hand now and had laid her other hand on top of the comforter. Slowly, Sheldon put his comic book down, took her hand a little hesitant and let his thumb stroke along her knuckles and fingers. Then, he spread his fingers and let them gingerly slide up and down between Amy's before he clasped them. This was so nice…

He raised his foot a little and crossed it with Amy's, let his foot sole slide above the back of her foot. Maybe he could stroke her big toe with -

"Sheldon, look at me please" Amy had straightened, now and her whispering voice sounded as if she wouldn't tolerate any contradiction.

Coyly, he turned his head and looked into her eyes. Damn, those sexy green eyes…

"What you're – "

But Amy couldn't finish her sentence, because Sheldon's mouth was already on hers. His free hand went to her neck and her shoulder, dragging her nearing to him and pressing her against his body, while his lips parted and passionately captured Amy's mouth. Amy returned the kiss fervently, after all, she'd been left alone with her desire for quite a time now and the books she enjoyed reading so much really didn't help to restrain her longing.

Soon, Sheldon was halfway on top of Amy, causing the comforter to move and the books to slowly slide towards the edge of the bed unnoticed.

Oh my, how good she felt beneath him, how alluring her soft warm body was to him, how much he felt the need to dive into her, over and over again…

Soon, his hand went down to her thighs, pushing her nightgown up to her hips and dragging her panties down to her knees impatiently. This would be sufficient for tonight, he still couldn't handle the bare breast. He let his fingers slide between her folds, felt her wetness, felt her yearning for him when she raised her pelvis and pushed it forward to take his middle finger in and to let the heel of his hand massage her sweet spot.

He only let go of her to drag his pants and underpants down to his knees in a swift move, then he rolled on top of her and penetrated her with a heavy, passionate thrust.  
Amy threw her head back in pleasure and he plunged his mouth on her throat, knowing, but not caring of the conspicuous hickeys that would be caused by it.

Amy slung her legs around his buttocks and he started moving slowly. "Are you ok?" he asked whispering. After all, it was the first time they had sex after her giving birth and it was possible there still was some wound that hadn't completely healed yet and that would cause problems now.

"Yes," she moaned quietly, "yes, I am. Just go on like this."

Sheldon began sweating in his pyjama shirt, but he just didn't have time anymore to remove it. Faster, he needed to go faster, hell, how much he needed this now…

Soon, Amy's moaning became louder, almost desperate for release, her feet and legs pressed firmly in his coccyx, then, a deep and animalistic cry of pleasure started to shape its way through her body, and when she came, everything he was able to do was pressing his hand on her widely opened mouth to muffle the loudness of her scream.

Maybe it was the feeling of her teeth in the flesh of his hand, maybe the feeling of dominance or maybe even the fact, that suddenly Amy's nightgown started to become really wet above her nipples, but suddenly, just like in the night when Rosalind was received, his mind went numb, and he shoved Amy's nightgown up to her armpits, grabbed and squeezed one of her breasts, oh God, that felt so good and so wrong at the same time, and then, finally, he came himself with a loud, hardly suppressible moan and an uncontrollable twitching of the body that made the books finally fall down on the floor with a thunderous noise.

"Oh boy", Sheldon softly sighed, when Rosalind started crying in her crib. Still lying on top of Amy and panting heavily, he started singing their homemade lullaby:

 _"_ _Once the world was a wild place  
No structure was in sight  
But symbols and signs and lists and tables they make the world so bright  
Oh, symbols and signs and lists and tables they make you see the light_

 _ABC, DEFG,  
that's how language is transcribed  
Yeah, symbols and signs and lists and tables they make the world so bright  
Oh, symbols and signs and lists and tables they make you see the light_

 _123, 456,  
Once the numbers were defined  
Yeah, symbols and signs and lists and tables they make the world so bright  
Oh, symbols and signs and lists and tables they make you see the light_

 _There's the notes and the clefs  
To play the music right  
Yeah, symbols and signs and lists and tables they make the world so bright  
Oh, symbols and signs and lists and tables they make you see the light_

 _Oh, the street signs and the traffic light  
they prevent on streets the fight  
Yeah, symbols and signs and lists and tables they make the world so bright  
Oh, symbols and signs and lists and tables they make you see the light…*_

Then he stopped singing exhaustedly.  
"Amy… I'm totally out of breath…. would you continue… with the lists and tables?... At least the verse with… the binary nomenclature… for the botanical and zoological taxonomy?... I think she likes that one especially... And of course, the one about the periodic table… Amy?"

But Amy was already snoring slightly. And he really couldn't tell if it was because of her exhaustion or if the lullaby had unintentionally become a conditioned stimulus to make her fall asleep, too.

The next day while having breakfast, Amy sensed that there was something bothering her husband. "What's wrong, Sheldon?"

He breathed in deeply. "I'm worried about Rosy's mental integrity!"

"Why?"

"Because yesterday evening she must have heard me when I… you know, we woke her up with our actions."

"Well, firstly: didn't you plan to tell our child everything about sexuality right from the start? And secondly: she won't remember this, don't worry."

"Well, firstly: I have changed my mind. Secondly: maybe she won't remember, but I'm worried about what she was thinking. And thirdly: I think we must start searching for a bigger place to live, she will need her own room one day."

"So, you're worrying about moving away one day?"

"Yes, but also about Rosalind! I don't want to cause her some mental damage just because I've become such a horndog… still can't believe it…" He sighed and shook his head. "I mean, what goes on in our baby's head when she hears us having sex? Do you believe she thinks something at all?"

"Probably... of course, she cannot talk yet, and one normally needs words for thinking, but I guess babies somehow think without words… But I'm pretty sure she doesn't know yet that what we were doing is something that is regarded as inappropriate for children."

"I guess you're right… Anyway, I'd like to know what's going on in her little head!" Sheldon smiled and tipped with his index finger at Rosalind's forehead, who was lying in a baby bouncer next to them. Rosy smiled broadly at her father, then she got back to play with her fingers.

"By the way, what's your very first memory? You never told me!"

"Hm, well, this is a little embarrassing…"

"Why?"

"It's so trivial."

"Come on, tell me!"

"Ok… We went shopping to the hardware store to buy a new carpet for my bedroom. And I was really, really impressed by that big rolls on which the carpets were stored and displayed."

"That's not embarrassing, that's cute!"

"Never call me cute again in the presence of another person, little lady!" he gently reprimanded her. Then he shot a look at his daughter. "You will forget you've ever heard this, right?" Then, he turned his head to Amy, again. "So, what's your very first memory?"

"I think I was probably two or three years old. One morning, I woke up in my crib and waited for my mother to take me out. But she didn't come immediately, and I got bored. Than I got the idea to play a prank on my Mom. I opened the buttons of the duvet cover, crawled between the duvet and the cover and then closed the buttons from the inside to hide from her."

"That was quite clever!"

"That's what I thought then, too. But well, my mother came into the room, looked into the crib and didn't see me. She hit the duvet back from the mattress, but of course she didn't find me there. And for some reason she didn't recognize that the duvet was much heavier than it used to be normally. She called for me, but I didn't answer, because I found it so funny to hide in the duvet. Then my mother got panicked and hysterical. I still can remember the enormous fear in her voice when she called me over and over again. That's when I got afraid, too and came out of my hideout.**

"What happened then?"

"She was furious and I had to stay in bed all day. Later, when I was older, and she couldn't lock me up in the bed anymore, she started to use the closet."

Amy's face had darkened, now.

"What if I become like my mother, Sheldon? What if my concern for Rosy becomes so big, that I start to lock her up in the house or even in the closet? What if I start to hate her because she made me suffer so much in pregnancy and while giving birth? What if I start hating her because she ruined my body? What if I will experience a career break and blame my daughter for that?" Amy couldn't hold back the tears anymore. One after another, they escaped her eyes and rolled down her cheeks.

"No, no, no, this won't happen!" Sheldon had come around the table, knelt next to her chair and wrapped his arms around her belly.

"But what if? I'm so afraid…"

"Amy, you're a completely different person than your mother, I'm sure you won't do the same mistakes as her. Furthermore, you have me and the gang to help you. But I think it could be a good idea if you would talk to your mother about all of this. Maybe then you will understand better why she treated you the way she did and maybe that will help you to overcome your own fears."

Amy sniffed and just shot a questioning look at her husband. That didn't sound like him at all.

"Oh, I've read it in one of Beverly's books."

"That explains it to me, thank you. But maybe she's right about this. Maybe my mother and me finally need a clarifying conversation."

 **I'm so looking forward to write the next chapter and to explore the relationships in the Fowler family! I guess that will be a real challenge for me, but I'm very excited for it!**

 *** I had SO much fun inventing that quirky lullaby, LOL! I even have a tune in my mind, but I don't know how to share it, so I guess this is up to your own imagination!**

 ****This one and the carpets in the hardware store are some of my own earliest memories (but of course my Mom never locked me anywhere). Interesting what kind of things we remember from our earliest childhood, isn't it?**

 **Postscript from 8th of December: oh my, I've just watched the latest episode of Young Sheldon (don't know if you're watching it, too), but it seems Sheldon has every right to be concerned about the bedroom-memories of his daughter, LOL!**


	14. Chapter 14

**So, I'm finally back for writing! I hope you all had some wonderful holidays and that you are looking forward to the new year!**

 **Here's the next chapter, I hope you like i!**

When Sheldon had entered Amy's mother's house for the very first time some years ago, he immediately had had the feeling that he had seen it before. Not because he already had been there actually or because he believed in some kind of déja-vu-stuff (of course he didn't!), but it somehow had seemed very, very familiar to him. Maybe it was because there was nothing that surprised him at all. Every piece of furniture, every picture on the wall, even the books and decoration in the shelf, everything seemed to be the way that you would expect it from a woman like Mrs. Fowler.

Today it was the same, again. He entered the living room and only could secretly marvel how remarkably unremarkable it was:*

The room's layout was a rectangle (the aspect ratio of the walls approximately 2:1) with a seating corner at the one end and an eating area which had a door to the kitchen at the other end.

The walls were painted in a light yellow, on the floor there were some grey marbled tiles and the ceiling was covered with wooden panels (probably birch). There were three windows in the room, one at the left side where the couches were standing, one at the right side at the eating table and one in the middle, in direct opposition to the door that he was standing in and that was leading to the narrow hallway. The windows were decorated with white curtains that were laid in accurate pleats and that lower edges formed a concave bow with its highest point directly in the middle of the window and drapes made from a light grey shiny material hanging at both sides of the windows and above the white curtains, where it was draped in three convex bows.

While Amy went into the kitchen to help her mother with preparing a cake (something that was exclusively a woman's task in Patricia's opinion) Sheldon took the car seat with Rosalind inside and went to the seating corner, where the coffee table made from glass was set with a teapot and four matching plates and tea cups.

He sat down on one of the beige leather sofas, paid attention to not sit on the sofa pillow covered with the same fabric the grey drapes were made of, that was put there in a very… decorative way (oh, he could perfectly imagine how the hand of Amy's mother had whizzed down like a karate chop to create that crease in the middle of the pillow) and took a glance at the huge beech wood cabinet in front of him. A flatscreen tv, a row of books: a lexicon in 20 volumes, a bible, a dictionary, some travel guides, a picture book of the USA National Parks, an educational guide for grandparents (he shortly frowned his brows, when he saw it, that hadn't been there at his last visit), a blue vase on a white crocheted lace doily, a china cat figurine, another vase (white with a golden rim), in the glass cabinet some more of the china that was standing at the coffee table. Nothing interesting, nothing that he hadn't had seen in other living rooms, yet, nothing that told anything interesting about Patricia's personality.

"Sheldon!" There was Amy's Dad's voice (Peter, he still had to get used to call him at his first name), who lived apart from Amy's mother in his own apartment, but who still was friends with her and who used to be around when Amy and Sheldon were visiting her. Sheldon raised his head and started to stand from the couch. "Stay, stay…" Peter gestured with his hands and sat down next to his son in law. "Nice to see you, again! And that little cutie of course!" Cautiously, he swung Rosy's car seat a little back and forth. "So, how are things going?"

"What exactly do you mean?"

"Well, how are you getting along with your task as a father? Are there problems you need help with or advice?"

"Oh, there are some problems in deed. The first one is that Rosy just doesn't want to adjust to the three hours time schedule for drinking. And that causes the second problem: her bathroom schedule is practically not existing. Can you believe that? She soils her diapers in the most inappropriate situations. Oh, and then the burping and vomiting, when will this kid learn table manners? Furthermore…"

"Peter, you forgot to set the saucers on the table! Where shall we put our soiled tea spoons after stirring our tea?" Patricia who had arrived at the seating area with a bowl of whipped cream in her hands, looked at her former husband as if he had lost his mind, shook her head, put the bowl on the coffee table, went to the glass cabinet and took out four saucers.

"I'm sorry, Sheldon, normally I use to control these things before the guests arrive, but today I just couldn't, because it took me so long to whip the cream, somehow it just didn't work properly."

"Maybe the cream was to warm, Mum? It needs to be cold, otherwise the fat that is dissolved in the cream is not crystalline but liquid and when you whip it you will create butter and buttermilk instead of whipped cream."

"Do you really think I forgot to cool the cream, Amy? I'm doing this job now for more than fourty years." Patricia's voice was slightly trembling.

"Amy, why don't you put that cake on the table and sit down next to your old father?" Peter smiled at Amy while scratching his gray beard and tapped on the seat next to him.

With a questioning look at her mother, Amy put the cake on the table, went to the seat next to her Dad and leant her head against his shoulder.

Patricia was filling the plates with cake, careful to not let any crumbles fall on the table. "Amy, sit straight, please," she reprimanded her daughter.

In that moment, Rosalind started crying heavily, Patricia jumped startled and stared at her granddaughter. "What is wrong with her?" she asked concerned, while Peter quickly and unnoticed by her put some crumbs, that had fallen from her plate, into his mouth.

"I don't know!" Sheldon shrugged his shoulders and took Rosalind out of her car seat. Immediately she stopped crying. "Probably she just wants to sit on my lap."

"But how can you eat your cake then?" Patricia asked him.

"Don't worry, I can feed him", Peter suggested and took Sheldon's pastry fork.

"No, no, nobody feeds me, I'm not Howard", Sheldon warded off and took the pastry fork cautiously out of Peters hand. "But I wouldn't mind if Amy could eat my raisins, because I really don't like them..." He didn't dare to look into Patricia's eyes when he said that.

"So, Mum, you've got a new phalaenopsis orchid, I see. It looks nice", Amy tried to save the awkward situation.

"Yes, your father gave it to me today, he got it as a gift at the hardware store, when they were changing the assortment in the garden department."

"I simply was at the right place at the right time", Peter appeased with a shy smile and a shrug of his shoulders.

Amy smiled broadly at her father. "You're my bargain hunter hero, Dad!"

"And you know what", Peter now added with a proud sparkle in his eyes "That's not the only bargain I did today. I also got three packages of washers for the price of two and a head screwdriver for only 50 Cent."

"Who needs head screwdrivers nowadays?" Sheldon asked with frowned eyebrows. He couldn't remember to have seen head screws for a while.

"I use them all the time. Because you can use a head screwdriver for a phillips head screw, but not vice versa." And sometimes" now he leaned close to Amy and whispered "you can even fix a big Torx screw with it." Amy nodded approvingly and whispered back "You know, sometimes I just use an unfolded scissors for fixing a screw, but don't tell Sheldon or Mum!"

"What kind of secrets do you two have?" Sheldon asked and bent forward to have a better look into Amy's face. In that moment, Rosalind took advantage of the situation, grabbed one of the raisins on Sheldon's plate, that he had picked out of his cake and put it quickly in her mouth.

"For heaven's sake!" Patricia shouted. "Rosy has put a raisin in her mouth!"

"What? But she's not old enough to grip such little things with her forefinger and thumb!" Sheldon protested.

"But she did! She used her whole hand! Take it out, before she swallows it."

"But I haven't disinfected my hands!"

"Oh my goodness, I don't know what to do! What shall we do?" Patricia was in panic.

"Amy, what shall we do?" Sheldon was in slight panic, too. A raisin had approximately the same size as a peanut (of course "approximately" was very much dependent on the magnitude that someone would underlie, but even if he was a quick thinker, he didn't have time for thinking about that now…) and peanuts were absolutely dangerous for babies.

"Let me see…" Peter had put his finger in Rosalind's mouth. "There's nothing. I guess she's swallowed it. Did you swallow the raisin?" He looked at Rosy questioning, but she just grinned.

"Good heaves, shall we call a doctor? She's not old enough for solid food. And what if Peter had dangerous germs at his hands?"

"Mum, relax, everything is alright, it was just a raisin, it did not get stuck in her throat, she didn't swallow it the wrong way and I'm sure Dad has washed his hands before eating."

Patricia breathed in deeply. "Well, you are the mother, you decide. But I need a drink now." She stood, went to the cabinet, opened a door and took out a bottle of liquor and a little glass. "Does anybody else need a drink, too?" Everybody was shaking their heads.

"Oh my, that was a shock!" Patricia sat down on the couch, slightly shaking and took little sips from the liquor.

The others didn't really know what to say.  
Sheldon immediately had taken the left-over raisins from his plate, swallowed them himself (his bad conscience for bringing his daughter into danger far outweighed his aversion against dried and sulphuretted grapes), and hugged Rosalind a little tighter to his chest, half to prevent her from doing another nonsense, half because of relief that nothing bad had happened to her. Peter sighed softly and patted Patricia's knee, as this was something he knew would happen some day and Amy was slightly in shock because she'd never seen her mother drinking alcohol before.

"You know, I'm always afraid that something could happen, but I'm just not able to prevent everything. Had I known that Sheldon would pick out the raisins and that Rosy would be able to grab them, I would have baked another cake. I blame myself so much!"

"No, Mum, it's not your fault!"

"No, it's not your fault!" Sheldon repeated after a short moment of consideration and Amy looked at him gratefully.

"Mum, for heaven's sake, why are you so frightened of everything? And is your fear the reason why you didn't give me any liberties in the past?"

"Actually, that's why we're here, because we wanted to ask you why you always were so strict in Amy's education." Sheldon tried to support her.

"Sheldon, what… don't…" Amy was shaking her head angrily.

"It's alright, Amy." Patricia answered after a while. "Yes, I was strict with you because of fear. Too strict, maybe."

"Not maybe."

"Sheldon!" Amy looked angrily at him, again. But at the same time, she felt relieved and thankful that he helped her to confront her mother with the past.

"Oh, Amy… " Patricia sighed and her gaze went empty, her thoughts lingering on a memory long, long time ago. "I just wanted to protect you, that's all," she whispered finally, her eyes still staring at a point on the non-existing horizon.

"Protect me from what?" Amy asked.

"From everything that can be dangerous for a young girl's body, mind and soul, of course."

"What is that in your opinion?"

"Isn't that obvious? Look at all those failed girls around you, darling. Instead of studying and following the laws of the Lord they spend their time with vanities and silly talk and trash TV. They start having affairs with worthless men who don't care about marriage and children and only have interest in…" she hesitated for a moment and then turned up her nose "fleeting fun."

She paused again, then she continued, her voice had become embittered. "And then, one day, when the girls don't pay attention, they become pregnant out of wedlock and the fathers suddenly disappear."

"But Mum, how could you think that this could happen to me?!"

"Who would have thought that this could happen to Katrina, your aunt?" For some reason, her voice became shrill and she emphasized the word "aunt" in a strange, sarcastic way.

"I didn't know she ever was pregnant," Amy whispered. "Has she lost the child before it was born or…" Amy didn't dare to ask if the cousin she never had heard of before had died or been given to another family.

"No, the baby was born and the person is still alive," Patricia answered in a strange voice.

"So, I have an unknown cousin? Why did I never meet him – or her?" Amy was confused and slightly angry.

"No, you don't have an unknown cousin, Amy." Patricia sighed deeply before she continued speaking. "Katrina is –" her voice broke off, she couldn't speak anymore.

"Amy, Katrina is Patricia's biological mother, your grandmother." Peter finished the sentence for his former wife.

"What?" Amy's eyes started to fill with tears. She couldn't believe what she just had heard. "Why? I don't understand… Why did nobody ever tell me?"

"Katrina was only fourteen years old. Nobody was supposed to know it, even not the relatives," Peter tried to explain it. "Katrina and her mother even left the country for one year to disguise everything. Officially, Katrina was attending a special school in Great Britain, while in reality, she just spent her pregnancy at the house of an old friend of her mother's."

"Even I didn't know it for a very long time," Patricia sniffed now. "When my father died, I was a young girl back then, he told me that in reality, he was my grandfather, that my mother was my grandmother and my older sister Katrina was my mother!" She stopped talking for a while and only sniffed silently. Nobody in the room dared saying a word. Rosalind had fallen asleep on Sheldon's lap and one could hear her tiny sounds of snoring.  
"Can you imagine the burden that this secret meant for my family, Amy? Can you imagine what it meant for Granny and Grandpa to lie to me and to everybody around every day? How could Katrina do this to them? How?"

"Mum, I don't know what to say" Amy had scooter closer to her mother and tried to comfort her by patting her shoulders. She wasn't used to have physical contact with her.

"I have sworn to myself to make things better than "my sister". I stayed a virgin until marriage, soon after I got pregnant, everything the way as it should be. I wanted everything to be good again for the people that I considered being my parents for so long, I wanted us to become a normal family, again.

And I didn't want to do any mistakes in raising my child, I wanted you to become a god-fearing and diligent person and I wanted you to find a man and have your own, proper family one day. And that you did, with a little help of mine, and I am proud of you and of everything you have achieved." Helplessly she patted Amy's hand and Amy took it and held it awkwardly in hers.

"But raising you was hard for me. I didn't want to ask for my family's help too much, I wanted to get that done all on my own, I wanted to proof that I am a far better mother than Katrina."

"I would have loved to help you…" Peter silently interfered.

"Oh Peter, what do men know about raising a child, what could you have helped me. That's a problem a woman has to solve on her own…"

Sheldon cleared his throat. "Well, I guess Amy and me have a different opinion on that."

"Not now, Sheldon" Amy shook her head in his direction, but smiled at him. She knew he only wanted to support her.

"I did what I could" Patricia continued now. "And I think the result is presentable. But I will try to be less frightened in the future." She smiled slightly and pressed Amy's hand.

"Mum…" Amy looked at her mother with tears in her eyes. "I don't know what to say… I'm so sorry for everything I've learned today. And I want you to know that …" She had never said that to her mother before "I want you to know that I love you!"

"Me, too. I love you, too my little wallflower" Having said that, Patricia awkwardly took Amy in her arms (to be honest, it reminded Sheldon a lot of their first cuddling session, many years ago on the couch in Amy's old apartment).

"Oh, I forgot there's something I wanted to give you," Peter suddenly said to Sheldon and gestured him to follow. They both got up (Sheldon careful to no wake up his sleeping baby) and went to the hallway. "Let's give those two some privacy, they really need to talk," he murmured and went to a basket that was standing next to the entrance door. "So, ehm, there's something that I wanted to give you, maybe you can use it as a toy for Rosy… I have cleaned it twice in the washing machine." He reached into the basket and out if it he drew an ugly green teddy bear, which was holding a heart with the labeling "I love you" in his hands.

Sheldon knew immediately where he had seen this teddy bear the first time and although he was sure he wouldn't want Rosy to play with it under any circumstances, he would keep it safe somewhere in a hermetically sealed box in his closet. After all, this bear had helped starting one of the greatest adventures in his life.

 ***When I first tried to imagine, how the living room of Amy's mother's house could look like, I immediately imagined it the way I described it here. For German standards this is a very, very average living room for the generation of Amy's mother. Probably a "typical" American living room for someone like Amy's mother would look very different, but I don't know how, so I decided to pretend, that this sort of living room was typical in America, too. My ulterior motive behind this is just, that I imagine everything to be very average, boring, kind of unpersonal, a little cold and very clean and tidy.** **("Spießig" for the German readers, LOL!)**

 **So, I don't know if this whole storyline about Patricia's mother isn't a little bit over the top? It was a spontaneous idea. What do you think?**


	15. Chapter 15

**I'm so sorry I'm always late with the next chapter recently. My kids don't give me much time for writing, and even if I have, I feel too tired… Well, anyway, here's the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it!**

The honest and meaningful conversation that Amy and Patricia had had the "day of the swallowed raisin" (they always called it like that in retrospect) had brought some things into light, that Amy had never heard of before. It gave her a better understanding for her mother's educational problems in the past and made her feel a little closer to her.

For example, her mother had told her that Amy had been born by emergency C-section, too, and that she'd always been ashamed of admitting it to others, because she had been so disappointed in herself of not having been able to give birth in the natural way. Patricia even had shown Amy the scar across her belly, from whose existence Amy, who never had seen her own mother naked, had never known. First, Amy had been quite angry at her mother for not telling her the circumstances of her own birth. Had she known that she herself had been born with a C-section because of her own big head that hadn't fit through her mother's beck bone, for sure she would have had her own beck bone and the head of her daughter get measured before giving birth, which would have spared her a lot of problems. After all, she once had read a scientific article about how C-section influences evolution in this regard… But she really didn't want to discuss about evolution with her mother and in the end, it didn't matter anymore, and she just wanted to stop thinking about the whole damn thing.

The only time in their long talk where Amy strongly contradicted Patricia was, when she tried to convince Amy of using an item for Rosalind, that she had kept from Amy's childhood. It was some weird leather safety-harness that reminded Amy very much of a dog leash. Unfortunately, Sheldon found the object, that Amy knew from old pictures and that she always had held for some kind of traditional suspenders, very useful and took it home with him.

The weeks went by and being parents become more and more self-evident for Sheldon and Amy. Getting the baby to sleep? No problem. Changing the diapers without gloves? Now even Sheldon could laugh about it.

But especially for Amy, who currently was doing her job in part-time and almost completely from home, which meant that she saw her beloved lab only sporadically, this new situation also had its downsides: she was bored. Sometimes she was bored to hell! It wasn't that there was nothing to do, on the contrary, she almost never was able to lay her hands into the lap, most of the time they were occupied with carrying or holding her daughter, with putting laundry into the washing machine (so much laundry, and she always had to go down all the stairs into the laundry room with Rosalind in the sling and the basket full of dirty clothes in her hands!), with changing diapers and sometimes even with something that she only did for herself like eating or brushing her teeth. But her mind felt empty. Everything she did happened automatically, there was nothing she had to think about. In the first weeks she had enjoyed that a lot, finally there was enough time for reading educational magazines, cheesy romance novels (only when Sheldon was not at home, of course) or scientific literature. But that soon became boring, too. Then (also only when Sheldon was not at home) she tried to continue writing her "Little House on the Prairie" fanfiction, but always, literally always, when she was about to get into the flow and have really great new ideas for her story, Rosalind started crying and Amy had to stop writing.

The only thing that let her grey cells work for a while was the Rubik's cube. Sheldon couldn't believe it when she told him, she never had tried solving it. So, she gave it a try and soon it became an obsession. When she was breastfeeding her child, in her head she turned the sides of the cube up and down, left and right, back and forth. When she changed the diapers, she quickly switched into her inner view and saw all that beautiful colors: blue and red, yellow and green, orange and white, instead of, well, what was really in front of her... Sometimes she was close to giving it up and have a look on the internet, but Sheldon always encouraged her to try it further. Then, one day, after weeks of trial and error, the cube suddenly lay in her hand just the way she had received it: every side was shining in its own, monochromatic magnificence. She had done it! Wow… She hadn't been that proud of herself for a long time.*  
Then, short after, the disillusion set in. What could she do now? She was desperately searching for a new field of intellectual occupation, until she suddenly realized, that Rosalind would be half a year soon and that meant she was old enough for her first mush. Oh, she would cook the most delicious food for her little sweetie, that was for sure. And only the best ingredients would find their way into the mash, of course! After all, she wanted her child to have all the important nutrients and vitamins right from the start and she didn't want to spoil her with the taste of industrial made food. Immediately she took her phone and started searching for the best weekly markets for organic food in Los Angeles, while she was rocking Rosalind in the other arm…

Some days later, the gang was having a special "party" in Leonard's and Penny's apartment. Raj had suggested to celebrate Rosalind's first "real meal" with a self-cooked dinner for all of them.

"So, what are these…?" Penny asked with frowned brows when she had had her first look into the jute sack, in that Amy had brought home her purchases from the organic food market in Los Angeles.

"Looks like parsley roots!" Sheldon commented, after he had taken a quick view, too.

"Can't you see that's parsnips?" Amy asked with frowned brows, too. "Sheldon, didn't you read the article from the parental magazine which explains the suitable starter vegetables for baby mash? I marked it for you with a post-it. A yellow one, I know you don't like the other colors of them!"

Sheldon became a little white in the face. "Oh no, I totally forgot to read that. And you don't have my eidetic memory… I hope you remember everything correctly, Amy! We cannot afford any mistakes."

"I've brought the recipe with me, Sheldon, don't worry!"

"Oh, thank Goodness! Well, let's see… Peel the parsnips, cut them into cubes and throw them into boiling water. Ok, but which size shall the cubes have? Which lunatic wrote this recipe?"

"Don't worry, Sheldon, we cook them anyway until they're completely squashy and then we even will puree them, so it doesn't matter"

"Are you sure, Amy?"

"I am. For 95 %..."

Penny turned her eyes. "Ok you two, I guess I better won't tell you that my grandma feeded me with mashed banana right after birth because I was so thin. Well, I'm happy, she wasn't successful…"

"Oh my God, what did she do?" Bernadette exclaimed.

„But you just told us! And you distracted me from cutting the cubes. Now, one is smaller than the others." Sheldon complained simultaneously.

„We always knew Nebraska is a dangerous place!" Howard said with a shrug of his shoulders. "But I'm wondering why you didn't decide for a carrot mash? Isn't that the classic first mash for babies?"

„Since we will eat the same mash, only that for us, it will enter a small liaison with potato mash before (o làlà) carrot would have been too ordinary," Raj tried to explain the choice of the vegetable.

"But the far more important reason is that we don't want carrot spots on all the textiles around the room!" Amy added.

"Because carrot spots don't disappear by washing. And neither other spots including beta carotene." Sheldon said, while he threw the parsnip cubes into the boiling water.

"That's why I don't eat tomato sauce anymore, although I love it" Raj agreed and shrugged his shoulders in Sheldon's direction."

"Well, I don't know what your grandmas do the whole day, but my grandma uses to put every cloth with orange or red fruit spots on the grass into the sun. You just have to pay attention that the chickens don't have access to that place. And then, after some hours, the spots are gone!" Penny took a sip of whine and made a mocking face.

Sheldon patted his hand against his forehead. "Oh, of course, in the presence of light and oxygen the double bonds in the beta carotene molecules get attacked, so that the molecules changes their shape and absorb waves from different lengths than before."

"Ok, you think you're smart right? But my grandma apparently is much smarter than you!" Penny stuck out her tongue in Sheldon's direction.

"Are you serious?" Bernadette screamed „Why did nobody of you never tell me? I've got two kids who used to spit on everything! And why are you weeping, crybaby?" Angrily she looked at Raj.

"All the cashmere pullovers, all the silky shirts spoiled with yummy tomato sauce, I've thrown them all into the trash. And I looked so elegant in them! Even my favorite scarf with the violet paisley pattern. Photosensitivity of beta carotene, of course!"

Howard sighed and patted Raj's shoulder for comfort.

After a while, Leonard sniffed. "What's that smell?"

„Which smell?" Amy asked

„I don't know… It smells of… I can't grasp it."

"I can smell it, too! It smells like the rear wall of the shed in my parent's backyard in Texas, where my brother used to work on his motorbike. Oh, and it also smells like the underpasses at the train stations, oh and also like some narrow passages in the gloomy districts of Pasadena. Funny, that they all have the same smell, isn't it?"

"Eew, this is absolutely old piss!" Penny blew her nose. "Where the hell does that come from? Did some sewer break?"

"No, no, it comes from the pots!" Leonard had gone to the stove. "It's the parsnips… God, why did we have to cook that stuff in our apartment?"

"Sorry, but I absolutely don't know what you're talking about," Amy said with a helpless face. "I don't smell anything. What about you?" She looked at Raj, Bernie and Howard. They all were shaking their heads.

"Sheldon, get prepared for a fresh breeze of air at your spot, I'll open the windows now and I will close them when I think it's the right time, not when your sensitive ass feels cold," Penny announced.

Meanwhile Howard was playing on his phone. "Ok, a quick search on Google indicates, that there are a couple of threads in parenting online forums dealing with the question if cooking parsnips smells of urine or not. Good news: neither of us is crazy, apparently some people can smell it and some not."**

Suddenly Rosalind started crying. Automatically, Amy's hands went to her breasts to feel which one was supposed to be the starter. Luckily, only Sheldon noticed it. „What are you doing?" He hissed. „We're in public and furthermore, what about that mash for that we had to make so many sacrifices?"

Amy gulped. Did she really want her daughter to try that food? She went to the pot with the parsnips cubes and smelled again. Nothing bad, just a sweet scent. She took one of them out and tried it. Penny, Sheldon and Leonard were grimacing in disgust. She ignored them and concentrated on the sensation in her mouth. It tasted delicious!

Soon after, Amy had prepared a little bowl with parsnip mash and Sheldon had dressed the baby in a bib that had been a present from the gang and that Raj had get embroidered with a self created epigram: "more important than a silver spoon in the mouth is a golden heart in the chest." Obviously, he was pretty proud of himself.

Everyone was excited when Amy brought the first spoon full of mash to Rosalind's mouth. First, she looked irritated, then a broad smile appeared on her face and she wanted to have more. Quickly, she had eaten all the mash from the bowl and curled up satisfied in her Daddy's arms.

"Now she looks exactly like you on that one picture that your Mom has in her living room," Amy said smiling.

"For me she always will look like your great grandmother Rosalind" Sheldon responded, smiling, too. "By the way, some time ago I've read something very interesting in my Asperger's self-help online forum. There was a guy who wasn't able to recognize his own daughter. When he got to take her home from preschool, he always had to wait until she saw him and ran to him, he wouldn't have been able to distinguish her from all the other blond haired girls in pink shirts."

"Wow, that's really sad!" Howard said in an affected voice.

"It is," Sheldon agreed with him. "Some time ago I would have found that incredibly hilarious, now it only makes me feel sympathetic with that man. Because I think there's nothing more beautiful in the world than looking into a cute baby's face and knowing it's your's." He smiled and rubbed his nose in Rosy's hair.

"Oh God, Sheldon, I thought the "silver spoon, golden heart" thing was cheesy, but you really make me cry," Penny said while rubbing her eyes.

"Really, I make you cry with emotion? That's so funny!"

Penny boxed him into his shoulder. "There he is, old Sheldon again!"

 ***True story for myself, except for that my husband always told me to put that cube away and look for the solution on the internet, but I stayed strong and solved it on my own, LOL!**

 **** At least that's my experience with the whole matter!**


	16. Chapter 16

"Pay attention to buy the right size. And the good ones, not the no-name-product, they're leaking very quickly. Oh, and there's a difference between – "

"Amy, I'm just going to buy some diapers for our daughter, it will be alright. Furthermore, do you _really_ think I'd ever buy a product without reading _all_ that's written on the package? Relax!"

"Alright, then I'll fetch the parsnips for tomorrow and also some carrots and potatoes, Red Vines for you… Something else? Does your Mom need anything?"

Sheldon was shaking his head.

"Ok, then we'll meet at the car in some minutes! Let's hurry up, I don't know how long Rosy stays quiet, alone with her MeeMaw in the unknown environment..." Amy placed a small peck on Sheldon's lips and disappeared in the grocery store, while Sheldon turned around and went to the drugstore. Buying diapers, wasn't that a matter of course for a young father?

Quickly, he had found the shelf with the baby hygiene products. Directly next to the shelf with the female hygiene products. Oh, he loved to choose the right sanitary napkins for Amy. Why did all the other men have so much problems with it? But unfortunately, she didn't need them at the moment…

Ok, there was the right trademark, size 4, one package for the night and one for the day, on to the checkout!

He placed the items on the conveyor belt, put that thing that looked like a plastic Toblerone behind them (damn, why did nobody know how that thing was called? Not knowing the name of something drove him _really_ insane!) and quickly calculated the sum of money he would have to pay in some minutes.

Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned around in surprise. Behind him were standing two elderly women with concerned, sympathetic looks on their faces.

"You're such a brave young man", one of the ladies said.

"What happened?" the other one asked. "Was it another man? But you are so attractive, how could she have chosen another one over you?"

"The young women these days, I don't understand them. Isn't having your own little family the most important thing in live?" The first woman mumbled to herself.

"Sorry, my ladies, but what are you two talking about? What's wrong?" Sheldon was really irritated.

"Oh, there's nothing wrong with being a single parenting Dad, we're just really sorry for you!"

"But, I'm not – "

"You have to stop denying it, my Dear, and face the truth. The sooner you realize she's gone forever, the better!" The first Lady squeezed his forearm in a comforting manner, then she and her friend turned aside and took a very interested look at the little shelf with the alcohol-filled chocolates behind the checkout.

Sheldon wanted to ask, why for Heaven's Sake they thought he was a single parenting Dad, but in that moment the cashier had scanned the diapers and he had to pay.

Some minutes later, he and Amy met at the car and went home.

When they opened the door, they were greeted by the smell of melted butter and the sound of an old-fashioned filter coffee machine.

"Oh, that smells and sounds so cozy!" Amy exclaimed with a smile "I feel so… at home right now!"

"Yeah, it's the same for me," Sheldon admitted. "I hate drinking coffee, but I love the sound of the coffee machine! Mom? We're back!"

"I'm here, Shelly! At the table! Rosy was so hungry…"

"Oh, you've already cooked her mash? That's awe- what's that?" Amy had arrived at the table and was holding a little glass in her hands, that originally must have contained industrially manufactured baby food, but that now was almost empty.

"Mary? What is that? What did you do with the parsnips that I told you to cook for her?" Amy pointed angrily at the glass in her hand.

"Oh, I've bought that some days ago, just to be prepared for emergencies. Don't you worry, it's best Texan quality! And I've mixed in some good butter!"

"But I explicitly told you to cook the mash fresh from the parsnips that I bought at the market yesterday…"

"Did you know how that smells? It was awful! Reminded me somehow of the smelly rear wall of the shed in the backyard, where George junior used to work on his motorbike…"

"Mom, you have to be very strong now!" Sheldon sat down and took his mother's hands. "Penny told me - and I'm quite sure that, although she's not very wise in general, she knows very well about these kind of things – she told me that this is the smell of old urine!" His last words were merely a whisper.

"Oh Shelly…" Mary whipped Rosy's mouth with a bib. "I really don't know what to say…" She sighed and patted Sheldon's hand. "Anyway, I'll be glad to cook her carrots and potato mash, but parsnips, no, thank you, not in my kitchen!"

"Well, carrots are ok, too, I guess." Sheldon took a questioning look at Amy. She nodded approvingly. "By the way, Mom, did you know, that beta carotene, the dye that is responsible for the orange color of the carrot, is photosensitive?"

"No, I didn't, but I know how to get rid of the spots, isn't that far more important?" She sat Rosy down on the floor at went into the kitchen. "Amy, do you drink a coffee with me, my dear? Shelly, your peppermint tea will be ready soon, too!"

They went to the living room and sat on the sofa to have their drinks. Sheldon told his mother about his strange encounter in the drug store, but Mary just shrugged her shoulders and said something like "This is Texas, Shelly". Then she asked Amy how her family was doing, and Amy told her about the incredible family secrets she had learned of and that her Dad still was struggling with selling his cousin Robert's old house.

Meanwhile, Rosy rolled and crawled over the floor for a while but when she tried to eat a dead fly, that she had found under a cabinet, Mary decided it was time to bring her some toys.

"Look, what I have found at the attic," she announced with a broad smile and handed Amy a couple of wooden building blocks with numbers and letters on it. Then she gave her two books. "Sheldon loved these as a baby! Do you remember them, darling?" Sheldon took one of the books into his hands and flipped the pages. A little smile appeared on his face. "Yes, I remember it… Oh my, eidetic memory!" But then his look darkened a bit. "Although I don't understand why you gave me a book about the sounds that animals make? In which universe is it useful to be able to neigh like a horse or to grunt like a pig? What about the other book?... "My first colors and shapes", well at least that's more useful in life. Although I'm wondering why it's so necessary for a baby to learn these things. Shouldn't a baby be able to say things like "I want more apple puree?"

"Well, I guess the most important words for a baby are "Mom" and "Dad"…" Mary looked at her son and daughter in law expectantly.

Amy shook her head. "Nothing so far. But we're waiting for it. After all, she's nine months old now.…"

"Oh yeah, Shelly started speaking with 7 months… well, not every child is special gifted!"

"Don't you dare saying something like that about my daughter, Mom!" Sheldon blamed her. "Come on, Rosy, say Daddy!"

"Or Mommy!"

"Or MeeMaw!"

Everybody looked invitingly at the baby, but Rosy just continued playing with Sheldon's old wooden blocks. Suddenly, an unfamiliar sound escaped from her mouth. "Ey".

"Rosy, what did you say? Rosy, look at Mommy, what did you say?"

Rosalind looked at Amy and grinned at her. "Ey… Eybee," she finally said.

"Eybee? What's that supposed to mean?" Amy looked questioning at her husband. But Sheldon only shrugged his shoulders.

"Who cares what it means, she said her first word! Well done, Rosy, well done!" Mary bent down and tenderly pinched the baby's cheek. Then, she sat up straight, again. "Oh, and praise the Lord of course!" Mary folded her hands and looked at the ceiling in gratitude, where, to her displeasure, she found some cobwebs.

Encouraged by Mary's reactions, Rosy now mumbled her new word incessantly, while playing with the wooden blocks. Amy and Sheldon watched their daughter proudly and discussed about the question how anybody in the world could have transcribed the sound of a male chicken into "cock-a-doodle-doo". Mary got a colorful feather duster and started to clean the ceiling.

Some hours later, Rosy's bedtime had arrived. Sheldon and Amy were a little worried if she would be able to sleep in the foreign crib, but since their lullaby still worked perfectly, they were quite confident.

They had just but the baby into her sleeping sack and wanted to start singing, when Mary entered the room.

"I just wanted to give her a little Good Night kiss. And make sure that nobody forgets the prayer!" she whispered.

Sheldon rolled his eyes behind her back. "Ok Mom, but hurry up! Amy, did you pack the pillow?"

While Mary was speaking the prayer, Amy took a little embroidered pillow from of their bags.

"What's that?" Mary asked. "Isn't she too young for a pillow?"

"Don't worry," Sheldon calmed her down, we don't put it in her bed, yet. She can have it, when she's older. Are you ready, Amy?"

Amy nodded, and they started singing:

 _"_ _Once the world was a wild place  
No structure was in sight  
But symbols and signs and lists and tables they make the world so bright  
Oh, symbols and signs and lists and tables they make you see the light_

Now Amy, held the pillow into the air with one hand and with the index finger of the other hand, she traced the embroidered letters, so that Rosy could see them:

 _ABC, DEFG,  
that's how language is transcribed  
Yeah, symbols and signs and lists and tables they make the world so bright  
Oh, symbols and signs and lists and tables they make you see the light_

"Eybee, eybee!" Rosy called excitedly and clapped her hands.

Amy and Sheldon looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and continued singing the lullaby.

 _123, 456,  
Once the numbers were defined  
Yeah, symbols and signs and lists and tables they make the world so bright  
Oh, symbols and signs and lists and tables they make you see the light_

"Eybee! Wontutee!"

Suddenly Mary understood. She stroked Rosy's hair, kissed the cheeks of her bewildered looking son and daughter in law, and with a huge grin on her face, she went out of the room and gingerly closed the door behind her. "…not every child is special gifted? What for Heaven's sake did I say there? I really should have known better…"

 **So, I hope you all could figure out what "eybee" and "wontutee" mean and why Rosy started saying those words while she was playing with the wooden blocks!** **:-)**

 **Actually, the German version of "wontutee" (eideidei) was one of the first words my own son said; I used to loudly count the spoons of milk powder when I was preparing his bottle of milk and , he thought that "eins-zwei-drei" means "milk", LOL!**

 ***Something similar really happened to my husband while he bought diapers and ready made baby food in the drugstore. Isn't it just alarming, how much caring for a baby still is considered so much a woman's task by some people, that a father who goes shopping for his baby is automatically considered a single parenting Dad?**


	17. Chapter 17

Horrified, Sheldon looked around him. So many children! They were just everywhere… Some of them were sneezing and coughing, one girl was incessantly scratching her skin and a little boy had suspicious red stains in his face. The horror! Thank God that Rosy was to small for begging to play with the toys at the pediatrician's waiting room. Never, never would he allow for it. He would teach her playing with his phone as soon as possible, for being prepared to the waiting situation the next time a vaccination was necessary.

Amy was also horrified, but for another reason. She remembered clearly the last time they went to the pediatrician with Rosalind for a shot, more so, she was quite sure she never would forget that day in all her life. The way her daughter had screamed when the doctor had injected that awfully big needle in her delicate skin… In her heart she had been screaming to him to stop that torture for her little baby, who had to suffer so much. But her mind told her that it was all for her best. At least the biggest part of her mind. She never would admit it to Sheldon, but of course she had read the arguments of the people opposing vaccination and yeah, they had raised some little doubts in her…

Suddenly, they heard a baby cry from the room where the doctor used to do the injections. Rosy looked scared into the direction where the sound came from, then, slowly, the angles of her mouth went down, her bottom lip arched forward and – "Oh Rosy, look at this!" Amy had taken a toy from one of the shelfs and held it in front of Rosy's face. "Look at all those colored rings, they all have different sizes, can you see? So, if Mommy takes them off, can you put them on the stick, again?"

"Amy, what are you doing? All those things are full of germs! Rosy, put that toy away, please!"

But Rosy was refusing to let go of the colorful rings, so Sheldon tried to take it from her hands – without any success.

„If she becomes ill, it's all your fault!" He hissed at Amy, then he stood up quickly and went into the doctor's bathroom to wash and disinfect his hands. If already his daughter was doomed to become sick, at least he himself could try to stay healthy…

Angrily, Amy looked after him, then she softly rocked her daughter, who was sitting on her knees and still played with the rings. Quickly, she got lost in thought, again and jumped a little in surprise, when she heard Sheldon's voice.

"Rosy, that's wrong!"

Amy looked at Rosalind and the toy she held in her hands. Actually, she had managed to put some of the rings back on the stick. But not in the order she was supposed to, no. Instead of arranging the rings by their size, she had chosen to sort them by color.

"That's pretty smart, my little girl!" Amy praised Rosy's work and placed a small kiss on her head.

"But it's wrong!" Sheldon's eyes were twitching nervously.

"She's a baby, Sheldon!"

"Yeah, and this is a toy for babies!"

"Sheldon – "

In that moment, a receptionist entered the room and looked around in a searching manner. "Next one please! Rosalind Cooper!"

Amy breathed in deeply, then quickly put the remaining rings on the stick in a random order, put the toy on the table and got up. Sheldon stood there, next to her, a weird flicker in his eyes.

"Come, Sheldon, let's get this done," she said and went out of the waiting room.

Sheldon followed her slowly. Then, suddenly, at the threshold, he turned around and with three big steps, he went back to their former sitting place. Quickly, he loosened the rings from the stick, laid them on the table and put them back on the stick in the right order…

When Sheldon finally entered the treatment room, the doctor was already tossing the empty syringe into the trash, while Amy was holding her screaming daughter tightly in her arms.

"Where have you been?" She hissed at him angrily.

"After I had to fix up that toy, I just had to wash and disinfect my hands, again. That took me a while." He didn't really want to admit to her (and to himself) that primarily he had shied away from being present at the procedure.

Rosy had been fallen asleep on the way back home, but when they had climbed all the stairs into the 4th floor and opened the baby gate, that Sheldon had installed at the landing some weeks ago (thank God that there was no 5th floor with apartments and that Leonard and Penny had grown to accept his quirks over the years), she woke up and started crying, again.

This was the moment, when Amy finally lost fighting her own tears. She knew it was kind of ridiculous from a scientific point of view, but she felt so sorry for her daughter and guilty that she had let the doctor cause her pain in order to prevent her from possible future bigger problems.

Sheldon didn't fully understand why Amy was crying, but he tried to help as good as he could. So, he guided Amy to the couch and covered her with a blanket, before he went to the bathroom with Rosy to put on a fresh diaper. Then, he prepared tea for himself and Amy and a little glass of ready made mash for his daughter (of course the good Texan trademark his mother used to buy).

Rosalind liked her meal, but afterwards, she still was whiny. Amy rocked her in her arms, sang to her, read her favorite books to her… nothing really helped.

Sheldon was reading something on his phone. "On the internet it says that after a shot, babies tend to be whiny, sometimes. It is recommended to have some fever suppositories in stock." He looked at Amy. "I'll go to the drugstore and fetch some."

Before Amy could say anything, Sheldon had left the apartment. She sighed, patted Rosy's back and closed her eyes for a brief moment. This was going to be a rough day, but somehow they would get through it.

After a while, Amy jumped out of sleep, when the door opened and Sheldon came back home.

"Have you measured her temperature?" he asked Amy, while putting the plastic bag from the drugstore on the kitchen island.

Amy shook her head and laid her hand on Rosy's forehead. "I don't think she has a fever!"

"We will examine this more exactly," Sheldon said and went to fetch the thermometer, before he remembered that it was intended for rectal use. So, he came back to Amy, took the dozing Rosy out of her arms and went with her to the changing table. He also took the newly purchased suppositories with him; just in case she really had a fever, then he could do that in one go…

But, to be honest, a little to his disappointment, Rosy's temperature was normal.

The hours went by and while Amy was trying to help Rosy with enduring her malaise, Sheldon was hoping desperately for being able to do something useful and efficient, but the thermometer just never showed the numbers he was hoping for and Rosy also didn't show any other indications, that had justified the use of one of the other drugs that he had purchased, just to be prepared.

When it was time for going to bed and Rosalind still was whiny and clinging, they decided to let her sleep between them in the middle of the big bed, what she hadn't done for a long time.

The night was restless. Rosy was tossing and turning a lot. Sometimes she kicked her feet into Sheldon's side, then she wanted to hold his hand or to lay her head on Amy's arm. Once she even laid herself on top of both of their heads, so that she almost smothered Amy with her diaper-packed butt, while she kicked Sheldon's nose with her strong little feet. Some minutes after midnight, Rosy had slung her tiny arms tightly around Sheldon's neck, while her legs lay across Amy's belly. Finally, she seemed to be satisfied and although Amy and Sheldon were far away from being in a convenient position, they immediately fell asleep.

After some minutes, Rosy shifted her feet a little bit. "Mommy… Daddy…" she happily mumbled half asleep, then she followed her parents to the land of dreams.


	18. Chapter 18

**Hi guys, I know, it's been a while... Recently I'm suffering from a persistent sinusitis and combined with a defiant toddler and a spring that just doesn't want to come, this is really consuming my energy resources. But since writing also gives me so much joy and therefore energy, I wrote another chapter today! I hope you have fun reading!**

"Is everyone dressed?"

"Well… almost… just come in, Penny!"

Cautiously, because she didn't want to eventually bump the door against Rosalind, who recently liked to crawl on the floor a lot, Penny opened the door to her former apartment and stuck in her head.

"Are you ready to paaaaarty, Ames? I brought you the make up you asked me for."

"Oh, thank you, I'll go directly to the bathroom to apply it, if you don't mind. Could you watch Rosy as long as Sheldon isn't home, yet? He should be there in a few minutes…"

„Sure!"

„Alright… God, I'm so exited for this party. It seems years since I've been out the last time."

"Ehm, you know we're just celebrating Stuart's birthday at Howard and Bernie's, right?"

"I know! But my whole life just has so few highlights right now, that this party is something I've been looking forward for weeks now!" Amy smiled excitedly at her bestie.

„Alright, just a moment please, I just want to put another reminder on my phone which tells me to take my birth control pills, just to be sure…"

"Don't say that! It's great to be a stay at home mom! Of course, I miss my work terribly and it's hard to have so few social contacts. But I have you and Leonard just across the floor, which really means a lot to me - "

"Oh, thank you, Sweetie!" Penny interrupted her and formed a heart with her fingers, that she held in front of her chest.

Amy frowned her brows. "What you're doing with your fingers? Anyway, it's just for a few more weeks until I start working again. In the first year a child grows so quickly, and I just don't want to miss all that progress that my little one makes. Just imagine, some days ago, the day after a shot, she suddenly said "Mommy" and "Daddy" as if she had practiced it all night long."

"Oh, that's really sweet! Finally, she's not only counting and reciting the alphabet anymore!"

"Exactly!" Amy ignored Penny's slight sarcasm. "You know, I'm so excited for her first step. She's almost a year now, I'm pretty sure it will happen soon. Isn't it worth staying at home for a whole year when you can see your own child doing its first step with your own eyes?"

Penny smiled at Amy in a conciliatory way. "Yeah, probably it is!"

In that moment, the door opened, and Sheldon came in.

"Oh my, it's getting late, I'll have to go to the bathroom to get ready!" Amy quickly disappeared in the bedroom.

"What is she doing?" Sheldon asked Penny.

"Getting ready for Stuart's Party. She has even borrowed make up from me… Oh, hi, Sweetie!"

Rosalind, who had been playing in another corner of the room, now came crawling to Penny, and smiled at her broadly.

"Do you want to show me your teddy bear? Wow, that's a really beautiful green teddy bear…"

"No, it's awful! She got it from Amy's Dad and he saved it from a very messy house. I wanted to put it away in the closet, but Rosy found it one day and now she loves it, she even cannot sleep without it…" Sheldon sat down next to Penny on the couch and looked at the teddy bear in disgust. "It's almost worse than the red arm chair, that once used to stand there," he said and pointed to the appropriate place.

Penny stared into space, lost in thought. "Time's passed so fast…" she mumbled, while Rosy lifted herself up at Penny's knees.

"No, don't put it into your mouth!" Sheldon suddenly yelled and tried to grab for the green teddy bear, that had approached the baby's lips dangerously close. But Rosy didn't want to give away her favorite toy and took a step forward, away from her father, before she clumsily fell down on the floor again.

"Penny, did you see that?! She made her first step! Oh, I have to tell Amy, she's waiting for this so long! AMY!" He got up and wanted to run to the bathroom. The teddy bear was forgotten for the moment.

Penny had awoken from her trance-like condition. "NO! Wait!" she hissed it him "Don't tell her!"

"Why? Why shouldn't I…"

"What's wrong?" they heard Amy's voice from the bedroom.

"Nothing!" Penny quickly yelled back.

"But Sheldon called for me!" Amy said, while she walked into the living room.

"Well, yes, he found this hairclip in my make up bag and he thought that it would be more appropriate for you for the big day!" Relieved, that she had found an excuse so quickly (well, she probably still was trained from the past), Penny held a pink, sparkling hairclip, that had been in her make up bag since her teenage years, into the air.

"Oh, that's really beautiful, thank you! And you chose that clip for me, Sheldon? I didn't know you care for my appearance that much…" With a huge smile on her face, Amy looked lovingly at her husband.

"Yes, he did!" Penny exclaimed quickly. "And now go and finish your hair and make up, Amy, we need to hurry up."

"You're right. Well, thank you for borrowing me this!"

"It's a gift!"

"Oh, I cannot accept that…"

"You can. And now, hush, hush!"

When Amy had gone back to the bathroom, Sheldon quickly took the teddy bear, that Rosy had left on the floor at Penny's feet before she had crawled back to her corner and put it on a high shelf. Then he turned to Penny with a confused and slightly angry face. "So, tell me, why for Heaven's sake didn't you want me to tell the mother of this child that she has done her first step? Amy has been waiting for this for so long."

"Exactly!"

"What does that mean? Please speak precisely, Penny, you don't want me to start my striking list again, do you?"

Penny rolled her eyes. "Alright, smartass. Amy just told me how much she's looking forward to see Rosy's first step. Apparently, it is an important event in a mother's life and Amy said, only to see this, it's even worth to stay at home for such a long time as she does."

"Aaand?"

"And now, just in one of the rare moments, when Amy doesn't look after her child on her own, Rosy is doing her first step… Which is of course pretty mean from her, but we'll have a talk about that when she's older..."

"Aaand?"

"Why do you have to rub it in her face, Sheldon? Why can't you let her believe that she's seen Rosy's first step, when in reality, she's seen her second one?"

"But that would be a lie. I don't want to lie to Amy, that wouldn't be right."

"A tiny lie, that would make her feel so much better. Look, how much Amy is sacrificing herself for your child. Let her feel some joy. Let herself have the feeling that staying at home all the time has been completely worth it."

"You know, how much I hate lying in general. You have no idea how much I hate lying to Amy in particular."

"Just do it for her."

"This is paradox."

"Whatever that means…"

"You sound like my mom…"

"Please, Sheldon."

"I'll think about it."

One hour later, the gang was gathered in Howard and Bernadette's living room and Stuart had just blown out the candles on the birthday cake that Amy had brought for him.

"Make a wish, Stuart!"

"What more can I wish for? Nobody forgot my birthday and I even got a self-made cake! Thank you by the way, Amy, for your efforts. I'm sure you don't have much time for baking right now!"

"That's the thing with this cake!" Amy said with a huge grin and swung her index finger through the air to emphasize the genius of the pastry. "You just mix 300 g of coconut oil with cocoa powder and some other ingredients, layer it in the backing pan with the cookies and then you put it in the fridge."

"Sorry, still not an expert of the metric system, how much is 300 g?" Penny asked, while chewing her cake with delight.

"Approximately half the amount of the whole cake," Sheldon explained and took another piece.

"I see…" Penny took another bite und chewed very slowly, now. "Mmh, wow, that's really filling… "Leonard, um, do you want to finish mine?" She stroked her belly with circular movements of her hand. "Yummy!" She said with a bright smile to Amy. Then she turned to Raj and whispered: "Way too much calories!"

Suddenly there was a little yell from Bernadette. "Halley! Don't move! Wait until Mommy returns with the wash cloth! Murmuring something like "Sticky, greasy chocolate cake, thank you very much, Amy…", Bernadette disappeared in the kitchen and returned soon after with a wash cloth showing a grim-looking Minion. "Giveaway from the drugstore" she explained with a shoulder shrug and then started to clean the mouths and hands of her children, who were fidgeting impatiently in their chairs.

Rosalind, who had been playing "Bumpety bump, rider" on her Daddy's knees (but of course without a big splash), had lost interest in the game and closely observed the other kids now, while she gripped herself on the coffee table.

Finally, Halley and Michael were clean, jumped out of their chairs and ran to the stairs. "Eh!" Rosy called, probably in absence of the ability to say „Wait!" and then she did a step forward to follow them.

Amy cheered up in delight. "Rosy! Has everybody seen it! Have you seen it? She's done her first step!"

„Really?" Bernadette, who just was cleaning Howard's face and hands with the Minion wash cloth, turned around in surprise. "But she's only 11 months, yet… My kids started with 14 and 15 months…"

"Yes, she's done a step!" Stuart confirmed, and Raj nodded enthusiastically.

„Oh…"Amy's face was gleaming with pride. "My baby has done her first step and we all have seen it. That's one of the best days of my life."

On her right side, Sheldon's eyebrows were twitching nervously, but Amy didn't notice. Penny, who was sitting next to Sheldon at the other side, winked at him conspiratorially and laid her hand on his arm in a reassuring manner. Sheldon frowned at her and drew his arm away. "Don't touch me, you know I don't like that!"

Then he laid his left arm around Amy's shoulders and kissed her temple. "Yeah, today we both have seen her doing her first step, that's really wonderful."

"You know what, I'll take another bite of that cake. Fuck the calories, I'm married after all." Penny shortly und unnoticed from everybody else patted Sheldon's right knee and then used it to push herself out of the couch. "Guys, I'm really getting old!" She winked at Sheldon again, and this time, after rolling his eyes, of course, Sheldon blinked back.

 **Like so many chapters in this fanfic, this particular issue is based on one of my own experiences as a mother, too. My daughter was quite difficult as a baby and she cried a lot. Looking after her 24/7 often felt like a big sacrifice for me, but I told myself that it was worth it, that I would be able to experience her whole growth in every detail and seeing her taking her first step just had a special meaning for me. But, unfortunately, she took her first step in the presence of my parents in law, when I was just in another room for some minutes. And of course, my mother in law had to rub it in my face, like "Oh, she's done her first step when she was with us!" I know it's kind of silly, but back then, when sleep deprivation and permanent stress just made me pretty thin-skinned, that really made me feel depressed and I wished she hadn't told me.**


	19. Chapter 19

They had it planned all so perfectly. Weeks and weeks had Amy and Sheldon spent to prepare the perfect first birthday for their little girl. They had had fights over the perfect presents, they had decorated the whole living room with balloons and paper garlands, they had baked a cake and decorated it elaborately with colorful fondant. But when the big day was there, Rosy was scared by the decoration and they had to take the garlands and balloons off. She muddled with the food instead of eating the cake and the only thing about the presents that she liked was the wrapping paper (how else could it be, in the end?).

So, Amy couldn't help to feel a little tense, when they started the highlight of the day: Rosalind's first visit in the LA zoo.

First of all, everything went great. Rosy marveled at the elephants, giraffes and crocodiles with big eyes and Sheldon secretly wondered what kind of animals a zoo in Africa would present as exotic attractions. After all, those animals that he would have found completely boring as a child, such as deer or wild boar, were not native to Africa and therefore should seem very exciting to the people living there.

He only interrupted his detailed contemplations about exotic animals, when they went to see the koalas. As soon as he looked into the face of one of the cute creatures, his eyes softened, and a content smile played on his lips.

"Daddy happy!" Rosy whispered and looked at her father with big, shiny eyes.

"Yes, Daddy is very happy!" Sheldon whispered back and placed a little kiss on her hair.

"And now he's even more happy because you just said your first two-word-sentence with a lead of one year over an average developed child" Amy said, while proudly throwing her hair backwards over her shoulder and then adjusting her purse.

"That's true!" Sheldon agreed with her and gave her an even more proud look.

"Look!" Rosy suddenly said enthusiastically. "Look!" She laughed and clapped her hands in excitement. One of the koalas now had climbed on the back of another koala. He let out a dull roar and then –

"Let's go. Enough koala for today!" Sheldon took Rosy's buggy and pushed it quickly away from the koala enclosure.

"Nooo!" Rosy cried. She tried to exit from the buggy. Then she let out a perfect imitation of the koala's dull roar. The people around them grinned and turned their heads.

"You know, Amy, I've been thinking about how certain animals are regarded as erotic and others not." Sheldon tried to save the situation while quickly leaving the koalas behind.

"Erotic animals?"

"Exotic! I said exotic! Do you always have to think about _geslachtsgemeenschap_?" (Since Rosy was now imitating more and more words, they had decided to use Dutch for sexual expressions because it firstly always sounded kind of cute and innocent and secondly nobody would understand it if Rosy ever would be able to repeat it.)

Rosy imitated the mating noise of the koala, again.

"I guess _I'm not_ the one who's thinking about _geslachstgemeenschap_ all the time," Amy giggled to override the anger about Sheldon's allegations. "Stop it, Rosy, please!"

"Are you suggesting that Rosy…?" Sheldon asked slightly angry.

Rosy roared again.

"Rosy, _stop that_!" Amy said now a little sharper and with an annoyed sigh: "Don't you worry, Sheldon, she just thinks it's a funny sound."

"Are you sure? What if she knows what all of this is about? What if she knows what we're doing in the bedroom when we think she's asleep?"

Rosy roared. This time louder. People were turning their heads, again.

"Rosy, stop that. Immediately!" Amy hissed, while she felt the anger rising in her chest.

"Sheldon, you're getting paranoid!"

"Paranoid, really?" Sheldon sounded angry, now, too.

"Yeah, paranoid" Amy confirmed quite harshly.

Rosy roared as loud as she could and fidgeted wildly in her buggy.

"MOMMY SAID NO! STOP IT, ROSY!" Suddenly, Amy heard herself screaming. It just happened, she didn't have any control over it, just as if her mouth was living a life on its own, it violently threw the thundering words on her beloved and helpless child. Immediately, the anger, that had build up in her chest over the last seconds so quickly, had gone. Now, there was only left an overwhelming sense of shame. And it wasn't because of the people around them, who had witnessed Rosalind imitating the koala's mating sound and then (as if the roaring hadn't been embarrassing enough) had witnessed her screaming at her child. It was because she was ashamed of herself. The mental image she always had had about herself about being a reasonable and prudent person who was able to understand the biochemical processes in the human brain and therefore not helpless at her own feelings, had crumbled down in one go. Instead, she had been forced to look in the face of the unvarnished truth: hidden deep inside her and almost unknown by everyone, there was some wild, aggressive and animalistic creature and if the nerves, that normally imprisoned it safely, got irritated a little too much, it escaped and showed everyone its ugly face.

„Please, I just wanna go home" Amy whispered with a sunken head and shuffled towards the exit.

Back on their way home, they didn't talk a lot. Sheldon tried to help Amy by suggesting that next time she was angry with Rosalind she should take some time out from the situation and leave the room for a while. Probably Amy only could develop those aggressive feelings for Rosy, because she spent every minute of the day with her daughter. But Amy only laughed in a bitter way. How could she ever have some time alone in their tiny apartment, even when soon she would start working, again?

Amy's mood didn't get better, when a street sign came in sight, that said that their road back home was closed due to an accident.

Luckily, Sheldon had insisted on always having a navigation system in the car for emergencies and so the robotic voice of the computer not only guided them through the unknown terrain, but also gave them an excuse for not talking too much and even put a little smile back on Sheldon's face, because: wasn't it just fantastic to listen to a robot and to obey its command?

After some miles, Sheldon realized that he knew the road they were driving on. He had been here before. Quickly, he took a glance on the screen. Yes, this was the place, where…

"Wow, wait. I wouldn't have expected that the navigation system would guide us here", Amy suddenly said bewildered. "Over there, the road branches off to Robert's house."

"I know, Amy, I have an eidetic memory!"

"That's the place where you thought about starting a family for the first time."

"I know. I only can repeat myself, I have an eidetic memory."

"Shall we… shall we just have a look there, you know, for nostalgic reasons? Maybe it lightens my mood…"

"Yeah, why not?"

Some minutes later, they parked the car on the dusty street next to the wildly growing hedge, that surrounded the garden. The rusty garden gate had fallen off its hinges and lay on the ground directly in their way. First, Sheldon considered to pick it up and simply throw it into the grass next to the path, but he was too afraid of getting his hands hurt at the sharp edges of the bubbles and holes, that the rust had left in the metal. So, they clumsily had to stalk over it.

By using their elbows, they went through the formerly sprouts in the fugues that had become young trees by now, that already towered above Sheldon at height and slightly whipped their thin branches over Amy's and Sheldon's chests.

When they arrived at the house, they saw that the garbage in front of it had been joined by even more broken electrical appliances and that the broken glass in the front door had partly fallen down.

Cautiously, Sheldon, who had been carrying his whining daughter on his arms, set her down and warned her to not go away too far. So, Rosalind went to the chopping chump, on which was still leaning the ax that Sheldon once had pulled out. Quickly, Sheldon followed her to take away the dangerous tool. Then, he saw the ladybug. It was crawling slowly over the rotten wood.

He gulped and gathered some courage. Then he stretched out his index finger and let the bug crawl onto it. "Look, Rosy," he said with a slightly husky voice. "This is a ladybug. Isn't it beautiful? You don't need to be afraid. Daddy isn't either. Almost…" Then he took her hand and let the insect crawl onto it. Rosy, who had been cranky all the time, suddenly became quiet and marveled at the animal.

This was the moment when Sheldon realized what he needed to do. He looked at his wife. She was standing in front of the pile of scrap metal, but everything he saw in that moment was her beauty, the huge bush of roses that was sprawling between the junk and the marigolds that were growing everywhere around her feet.

"Amy, I think we should renovate this house and then live in it."

"R-Really? But it's a huge pile of work…"

"Yes, but the location is perfect, we can get it for free and your Dad is a good craftsman. I'm sure he'd love to help us to renovate it."

Amy started smiling a little. "You really want to do this? I still can't fully understand why suddenly…?"

"Because this is the right place for Rosalind. For our family."

Amy's smile became brighter. "Are you sure? Away from Pasadena? Isn't that too much change for you?"

Sheldon laughed and lifted Rosy on his arm. "Who says, that change is always bad?" He nudged at her little lose, then he looked at his wife, again. And now, her smile was as bright as his own.

The End (very, very likely)

 **Dear readers of "The Offspring Undertaking", thank you all so much for your support, your reviews, favorites and follows! You have no idea how much it helped me to continue writing this story (well, probably the ones of you, who write or used to write in the past, actually have an idea of it, LOL!)**

 **As much as I loved working on this story, I think it was time to let it end. I have told everything I wanted to tell and furthermore, I currently just don't have much time for writing anymore.  
(I hope, I will at least be able to translate my older stories concerning the Shamy wedding, before the big day will be finally there in "real life", LOL!)**

 **So, I hope, you liked this last chapter and of course the whole story in general. Since it is my first multichapter-story (or at least the first multichapter-story which hasn't been planned completely, before I started writing), I'm really curious about your opinion on the story as a whole** **:-)**

 **Thank you all so much for your time!**


End file.
